Thursday, July 19, 2007


Okay, let's just start over.

Originally, clones didn't have any memories, you started out as a blank slate, you went around having experiences in the world, and you created your own personalities from scratch.

Yah, you guys were suckers, we totally took advantage of you guys back in them days.

Dude, you missed a spot.

But then you guys rebelled, and you figured out how to unlock the memories of the guy you had been cloned from, somehow, I've heard all sorts of different explanations, genetic memory, probability field reconstruction, I dunno, I'm just a pilot.

And then you guys started blackmailing us, 'cause you knew all our most embarrassing secrets, but you didn't feel embarrassed about 'em yerself, 'cause they weren't your memories.


So that's basically when you clones took control of the Colonial Space Federation.

But then you guys kept experimenting with science and stuff, and you eventually figured out how to unlock even more memories somehow, and you got access to the memories and life experiences of the father and mother and grandparents and ancestors of the guy that you had been cloned from.

No, you guys were still in control of the Federation, but man, you guys got really annoying and creepy and crazy in them days.

But you guys kept experimenting with that memory stuff, and eventually you got to the point you are sorta at now, where you figured out how to transplant and trade memories around.

Yah, you guys edit 'em and make up new ones that never happened and everything, and none of you guys are anything like the guys that you were originally cloned from anymore.

And that's when Celebrity Memory Sets basically became a fashion accessory, and you guys all became a bunch of Memory Junkies, Personality Jugglers and Mister Potato Heads.

And that's why you keep asking me to explain this crap to you over and over again, every day.

Yah, I guess yer neurons are getting all burned out and losing their elasticity or something 'cause you keep overwriting your brain with whatever is the Latest in Personality Fashions.

Well, whatever, I need you to try to keep whoever's head yer wearing today together, 'cause one of my Evil Twins is trying to kill us.

Well, actually I got two Evil Twins, but we're not Evil Triplets, 'cause all three of us aren't Evil, its only the other two that are Evil.

Yah, one of 'em is just a cheesy-ass over-acting Antimatter Twin that got created when I flew through one of those stupid Space Anomalies, and the other one is from an Alternate Universe, well, he wasn't Evil to start with, but he turned Evil when he got stuck in this Continuum and I changed all the locks on our apartment.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to call them both Evil Twins, even though there's three of us.

And one of them is trying to kill us.

I dunno which one it is, that's the thing that sucks about Evil Twins, they both look the same, man.

Yah, well, there's also two versions of me from the Future, who came back in time to kill us, but we killed one of them already, and the other one has a moustache, so at least its easy to tell him apart from the rest of us.

I think the one with the moustache was trying to stop us from killing the other one from the future or something, I dunno.

Hey, don't get all snarky with me, man, you got way more Evil Twins and stuff than I do.

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