The Dancing Bear

"Dude, relax, I know you aren't totally autistic."

"Dude, I'm not even a little autistic."

"Yah, yah, I know you aren't autistic at all, sometimes."

"Dude, I'm not even a little autistic sometimes."

"Hey, take it easy, man, we're all a little autistic sometimes."

"Well not me!"

"Hey, look, yer preaching to the choir here, kiddo, its not me you gotta convince, its everybody else."

"Yah, that's 'cause you went around tellin' 'em all that I was autistic!"

"Alright, now yer starting to sound a little schizo."

"Dude I'm not shizo!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you, I thought it'd make you look cute and harmless to the chicks no matter what kinda freaky outbursts you had on accident, y'know, people treat autistic people nice even if you do all sorts of freaky shit."

"Dude, I don't do any kind of freaky shit!"

"Well, I know you don't do any kind of freaky shit sometimes."

"Dude!"

"Hey, take it easy man, we all do a little freaky shit sometimes."

"Well not me!"

"Hey, denial is a the first hurdle yer gonna have to overcome on the road to recovery from a serious mental disorder."

"Dude, I hope you didn't go around telling people that I have a serious mental disorder."

"I would never do anything like that, unless, y'know, I thought people needed to know that they should try not to get you too excited 'cause you may become a danger to yourself and others, on your first day out of the hosptial."

"Dude, I'm gonna kill you, yer just trying to steal all the chicks by making it seem like I'm all messed up and that you are some Kevin Kostner guy that's just trying to help me! You told people I just got out of a loonie bin!"

"Oh yah, let's just think about how a violent outburst is gonna look to everybody around here, when they think I'm over here risking my neck trying to help a potentially dangerous autistic person who might have forgotten to take his meds acclimate himself to the Outside World, they're gonna nominate me for sainthood ahaha."

"You are the devil! I'm going to tell everybody that you are the devil!"

"AHAHA yah now that's really gonna help your cause."

"..."

"Hey, don't kill yerself over it or anything, suicide is never the answer."

"I'm not going to kill myself!"

"You gotta look at the bright side, bro, at least all the dudes around here can't beat the hell out of you if you go around crying and talking backwards and asking their chicks for cuddles and shit, its against the Rules to give an autistic person a beatdown."

"Hmm.'

"Yah, people will just think its cute and harmless if you go around copping feels and telling chicks they're pretty and stuff."

"Hmm."

"Yah, see, you gotta work that shit to your advantage, holmes, I set yer ass up solid. Heck, you can even do the Napolean Dynamite thing where you suddenly know how to dance all awesome, that's bound to get you tons of chicks, people will love it."

"Hey, waitaminute, you didn't tell them that I knew how to dance all awesome."

"Well, I had to think of something you were good at, y'know, 'cause autistic people are s'posed to be awesome at certain things or something."

"But I don't know how to dance all awesome."

"Dude, you don't have to dance all awesome compared to a regular person."