Sunday, July 29, 2007

Fantabulous Rodeo

Welp I signed up for the beta for Tabula Rosa or whatever its called.

Yah, not exactly what I'd call a "good" name for a game, sounds kinda like a skin disease or something you'd order at a Mexican Restaurant.

It means "Blank Check" in latin or something, see, its all sophistercated like that.

Yah its that Richard Garriott MMO thingie.

Man, Dance Fever was still on TV the last time he made a game.

And it turns out his game is all about robots or something!

That's pretty weird.

I thought it was supposed to be some kinda creepy anime thing where you fly around on a unicorn's tentacle as a kid with a big blue hairdo, but I saw some screenshots and I guess they changed it to a Quake-looking game where ya fight cyborg zombie aliens and junk.

At first I liked the stuff they officially wrote about it (I just finished reading it) and all of Garriott's Brave New World design innovation stuff sounded pretty damn good, and some of the screenshots were kinda Mechwarrior slash Battletech slash Robotech-looking (even though the stuff I read didn't say nothing about piloting kickass giant robots).

But then I started reading what players were saying about it unofficially and now I'm at the Meh I'd Try It For Free If I Get the Opportunity Stage.

And I'm the only guy I know that liked Anarchy Online, until they nerfed the shit outta my kickass Dual Freedom Arms Wielding Opifex Soldier With the Damage Reflect Shield From Hell.

Giant Robot stuff would be pretty cool, but stomping around in Mechwarrior and Shogo got boring pretty fast even on the LAN, compared to the highspeed veritech fighters and those Cyclone Motorcycle Exoskeleton thingies from the Robotech cartoon.

Man those motorcycle things were kickass.

Mechwarrior and Shogo woulda been better with cooperative missions like the assault maps in Unreal Tournie where you coulda fought and defended against Alien Attacks or something, insteada just deathmatch gladiator junk over and over again.

Oh, uh, sorry, I'm pretty sure Tabula Whatever-Its-Called don't have Kickass Giant Robots Versus Alien fights, didn't mean to get yer hopes up there, they didn't even say nothing about vehicles, I was just going off on a tangent heh.

Hey, I always say Girls Hate Robots, but now that I think about it, we actually played Mechwarrior and Shogo on the LAN with an equal amount of chicks.

Yah, women are actually a lot like sharks that go ape-shit when they smell blood, they just keep it all bottled up and repressed, and they don't like giving into it 'cause it actually gives them so much pleasure that it scares 'em at first, but once they get past the nobody-cares-if-they-let-their-hair-down-and-turn-ugly stage, they can scare the shit outta the guys when they start screaming and yelling like they're being driven to ecstasy by a bunch of mindless giant robot violence.

They get way nastier than us when they lose, but holy shit they get crazy happy when they win heh.

Meanwhile all us guys are all quiet and shit, I mean, we're actually faking it for comedic purposes when we do that Wrestlemania Screaming Match Stuff to each other ahaha.

Man, I've gone on so many tangents this time (you should see all the stuff I edited out ahaha) that I'm totally lost at this point.

Oh, I started with something about Richard Garriott's No Vehicle Version of Planetside, yah.

Well, at least it ain't some creepy-ass anime thing.


Gallenite said...

"And I'm the only guy I know that liked Anarchy Online, until they nerfed the shit outta my kickass Dual Freedom Arms Wielding Opifex Soldier With the Damage Reflect Shield From Hell."

hahahaha. Good times.

Possibly the only one with an Opifex.... Atrox was the way to go, baybee.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

I can't remember why exactly I picked Opifex but it musta been some kinda kinda dps numbercrunching thing 'cause I CERTAINLY wouldn't have picked anyhing in that game for its looks heh.

I remember I played an Atrox Brawler type, I can't remember what the warrior class was called in that game, right after they nerfed my soldier and right before I quit, and they had that kickass nanopower where they would actually grow in size for a few seconds, that was cool as hell, I dunno why CoH never did anything like that.

Oh yah, and now I'm remembering all that nano stuff where you modified your own body with bionic junk that'd let you do more buffs, and the way you had to cast buffs to buff your buffing powers so you could cast even better buffs, man, it was kinda cool to figure that stuff out at first, but spending all that time and energy watching yer toon do jumping jacks while he buffed himself got absolutely RIDICULOUS after a while, I think I was spending half my time keeping my buffs up.

Yah, after that, games started having a lot of buffs that were toggles and stuff, kids nowadays, they don't know how easy they have it, blahblahblah ahaha.