The juvenile crime rate plummeted the year after I quit being a juvenile.
So either the kids nowadays are a bunch of ritalin munching disney video zombie wussbags, or its that all us over-sexed over-drugged morally-challenged supervillains are supposed to be the ones catching their punk asses at shit.
And we're all like "pfft, trust me, nothing you Barny Loving Baggy Pants Wearing Underpants Showing Medically Emasculated Emo Assclowns will ever think to do is worth me getting out of this chair for."
Oh don't even try to lie to me, I invented that shit, yer breath reminds me of the way babies smell.
But next time, you gotta steal something that's easier to turn into cash, son, wtf is wrong with you, yer momma musta slept with a whole damn football team to make a kid as stupid as you ahaha.
No, School isn't cool, but you ain't gonna be making out with no cheerleaders in Jail.
Unless you get sent to one of those fancy Federal Prisons where they got cable TV and Horseback Riding and Archery Lessons with those guys that can teach ya how to cheat on yer taxes and shit.