Sunday, July 1, 2007


All the hobbits do is grow stuff.

Then they cook and prepare it.

Then they eat it, drink it, or smoke it.

Then optionally they talk some poetry to a cute lady hobbit and try to make s'more hobbits.

Or they argue and joke and blabber and tell stories about stuff that actually doesn't matter.

Then they sleep.

Oh, they don't really need to build houses and do all that sorta industrious stuff that much, 'cause they just inherit everything or live with their parents like folks did in the old days.

And since the rest of the world is protecting them from junk like Evil Abino Supervillains, they don't have to worry about going all GI Joe against the Killer Robots and stuff either.

Just grow it, cook it, eat it.

Grow it, cook it, eat it.

Grow it, cook it, eat it.

All their artistry and stuff is contained in that.

And there really is a ton of artistry involved in growing things and cooking them and eating them.

Oh sure, food was the first multimedium.

Its got everything sculpture and painting has, plus a couple other senses that those things don't have, its visual, and you can touch it, but its also smell and taste, and the texture of it and all that tactile stuff is much deeper than you'd normally go with a sculpture, y'know, unless you actually put your mouth on a sculpture heh.

It even involves some audio stuff, if you consider the different kinds of crunching and the clink and clatter of the Food Enjoying Equipment and everything heh.

So its a lot of different art forms rolled in to one.

Plus its a collaborative art form, when you got lots of people sitting at the table enjoying it, and the application of condiments and the shapes they cut their food into and all that personal processing stuff everybody does.

Anyways my mom really likes it when I talk about her cooking like this.

Yah, she actually blushes.

But it seems kinda weird to me that folks who love to cook don't actually appreciate what it is they're doing consciously, y'know?

Aside from that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" thingie.

I can't think of a greater combinations of art forms than cooking, seriously.

And its so damn intimate, too.

'Cause you usually don't stick art in yer ultra-sensitive mouth and chew on it and swallow it, y'know?

And I ain't even gotten into growing and raising the shit you cook, and all the artistry that's involved in that.

Anyways you'd get much better and more satisfying art at a restaurant than you would at some moldy old museum.

And unconsciously we all know that is true.

But we sorta take it for granted, y'know?

'Cause its just something we gotta do every day, I guess, I mean, I s'pose the fact that we'll die if we don't do it all the time sorta puts a little negative spin on it.

And then you got all this stuff where the nutjobs on the TV try to make you afraid of food.

Like its food that is gonna kill you.

Fat and salt and I dunno what, its all out to get you man, its totally ruining your chances at the beach to catch a sexually transmitted disease!

Its like they're doing to food what they used to do to Rock-n-Roll music.

But whatever, those shrill mofos will go on squeaking hysterical like that forever, global warming, ice ages, Near Earth Asteroids and the shit they put in Diet Soda Instead of Sugar, woe is me, blah blah blah.

And y'know, no matter what we do, we are all gonna die.

Nobody gets out of here alive.

And there's a good chance that it'll be all messy and shit, in the end.

But I'm telling you, those hobbits really know what they're doing, man.

You should check that shit out while you still have a chance, y'know, before they have to scrape you off a windshield or whatever.

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