Huge Love

So Ex-bouncer is making a ton of money in the Stock Market, and he says we're gonna start this kickass Polygamist Compound like they got on Big Love, with tons of Hot Little House on the Prairie Chicks to cook fer us and stuff.

Yah, y'know, those repressed-looking School Marms and Librarians with their hair twisted up into buns an shit, oh hellyah, those chicks can totally cook, man.

All over eighteen, of course, or whatever the hell the Law says is okay, y'know, 'cause first off, I don't really give a shit if they're all eighty years old, as long as they can cook and clean up after us and work the farm and stuff.

And you should always leave it up to Society to pick an age where its okay fer you to start psychologically preying on people, y'know, 'cause then you don't have to feel guilty or anything.

And anything under twenty-four years old, I don't care what it is, is way the hell too insane and annoying fer me, man, ahaha.

Anyways, I figger we need at least twelve wives, each, minimum, to keep from getting bored, and that's only if we do a lot of wife swapping and take a day off every week and order out.

Well, y'know, six interchangeable pairs each.

Yah, see, that way each pair only has to cook something once a week, including lunches if we skip breakfasts and eat together all the time.

It's gonna be frickin' awesome, man, I got all the math worked out.

Oh man all this talk is getting me hungry.

What?

Oh gimme a break, how can something like that be illegal?

Well, how the hell is that any different than marrying and divorcing one person after another but still having 'em all hanging around yer house and cheating on 'em with each other?

Or not marrying any of 'em and just having 'em all as live-in girlfriends and stuff?

I mean, is the whole point that we ain't supposed to sleep with a lot of different chicks or what?

Or is it like some kinda Rule that you can only love one person?

When did we get to vote on that?

Yah, see, that doesn't make any goddam sense.

Heck, the legal ways to do it seems way the hell worse and less respectful than showing your appreciation for the ones you love by doing the right thing and marrying 'em all, actually.

Heh heh heh.

Yah, y'know, I just wanted to make you wise old geezers choke a little.

The Chinese Symbol for Harmony is actually a picture of a man and a woman standing under a roof.

And the Chinese Symbol for Chaos is actually a picture of a man and two women standing under a roof.

Heck, Harmony should be a guy standing under a roof all by himself with a women standing outside the house, but mebbe they thought that made the symbol look kinda lop-sided or they didn't have enough room to do it right or something, y'know.

Or mebbe Harmony should be a woman under the roof, and the guy driving past the house on a kickass motorcycle with a naked chick on the back of his bike.

Yah, that was probably too hard for them to draw, y'know, 'cause they woulda had to use a horse instead of a kickass motorcycle, back in them days, and horses are kinda hard to draw.

Or a rickshaw or whatever, yah.

Well, whatever, you know what I'm saying.