Friday, July 27, 2007

The Robot

I was really glad we had a Robot at first, y'know, but he's starting to freak me out a little.

Its not anything he says, he don't hardly ever say anything, its just the way he turns and looks at you.

Naw, he don't have eyes, or even a face to have facial expressions, I dunno how he does it, exactly, but you can always tell if he approves or disapproves of something.

Well, its like the time we were all like, "somebody needs to clean the carbon filters," and then he turned and looked at me, y'know, the way he does it, and it was like he said "I don't even breathe, so I'm not going to clean that shit," even though he didn't say anything, and I ended up having to do it.

That's how it always is with him, he always plays the Robot Card for everything, man.

"I'm a Robot, so I don't care if we drift in space forever and ever."

And he's bigger than me, he's gotta weigh at least nine hundred pounds, y'know, so he's definitely pretty threatening.

Plus he can shoot them lightning bolts out of his Robotic Power Claws, and he knows I flinch every time I hear his arms rattling around a little in their sockets, he rattles his arms at me on purpose whenever he wants me to get my ass moving.

Naw, he ain't never shot me with a lightning bolt, but I seem him shoot other stuff with 'em, junk that was just getting in the way of his treads.

Yah, he's smarter than he looks, man, he don't ever say or do anything on camera that would incriminate him or give him away or get him into trouble, but he's basically running this whole operation with all his silent threats and shit, he don't ever have any do anything he don't wanna do, he makes us do everything, everybody is scared of the guy.

I dunno what we can do to get rid of him, he's got that little fanny pack battery thingie you can try to pull off him that shuts him down, but that's easier said than done.

And even if you do that, somebody will just run diagnostics on him and say he's fine, and then he'll be right back here, working next to us, not saying a word about it.

But you know he'll be thinking about how you pulled his little fanny pack battery thingie off.

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