Moon Boots

I'm really surprised that moon boots haven't made a come-back yet.

'Member moon boots?

The way we had to use the plastic bags that bread came in as liners if you were gonna go play in the snow?

'Cause they weren't actually any good in watery areas like swamps and snow forts, they were mostly foam or something, it was like tieing a couple of wet pillows to your legs and running around.

Yah but thats not why they got unpopular, I don't think.

Naw, see, I think they got unpopular 'cause of that thing where people thinks its cool to have tiny little feet, insteada huge ones.

Yah, humongous poomfy moon boots were sorta like an in-yer-face rebellion against japanese foot binding or something.

Stomping around with your hands on your hips like Yul Brynner, laughing at the silly humans and their tiny little feet.

MAH FEET ARE HUUUGE!

Pullin' 'em off chicks with that sexy "shtoonk!" suction noise, awyah.

You think it woulda made a come-back already though.

Well, with all that glowing stuff they put on gym shoes nowadays they could really make moon boots awesome.

Add a subwoofer and purple ground effects and a disco ball and shit awhellyah untz untz untz.

Lookatchoo, er a walking one-man party, baby.