Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Dancing Cowboy Strikeforce

I was thinking about that Cowboy MMO thinge from a long time ago, that one that just totally disappeared.

Well, its always bugged me a little, 'cause I couldn't think of how they could do it and make it fun, I mean, I can usually come up with a ton of passable bullshit about anything, but fer some reason its super hard for me to think up Cowboy stories, especially something that'd fit a MMO type thing that I'd want to play.

Which is kinda weird, considering I'm from the country and I grew up on a farm surrounded by horses and daisy dukes, but I'm not a cowboy, really, I'm just a hillbilly, y'know.

Anyways then Stephen King's thing with the Black Tower (before it started to suck) and some stuff like Plunkett and Macleane and Ravenous got me thinking about a game based around something sorta steampunky like that.

Well, mebbe steampunk isn't a good word for it, but whatever, as long as it ain't supposed to be totally realisitc and predictable, and it only uses historical accuracy to lend a little credibility and suspension of disbelief (among other things) to the supernatural-shit-hits-the-fan moments, that's fine with me, I dunno what to call that kinda setting, so I'm just gonna say its steampunk, fer now, 'cause its loose enough that it can pull in a lot of other cool junk.

There's not a lot of junk like that, y'know?

There's City of Lost Children, and just about anything that Terry Gilliam does, some of the crap that Tim Burton does, there's a couple of comic books and some anime crap, and Stephen King's Black Tower thing, but there ain't a lot of that kinda stuff in games, really.

Mist was sorta Steampunk, I think, although it didn't have any kickass cowboy stuff innit.

So were all the Thief games, now that I think about it.

And then there's Arcanum, which was totally awesome, and everything, y'know, but I think it coulda been better if it didn't have dwarves and elves and all that Dungeons and Dragons crap in it.

I think they just used that Bilbo Baggins and Dragons junk 'cause they couldn't think of anything to fill dungeons with, but they shoulda just went with the premise that technology was good (even though it wasn't reliable), and all magic was black magic, 'cause then they coulda had dungeons and stuff where cowboys hunted Allister Crowley Demonologists and Cthulhu Cults and crap like that.

Well, that's how I played the game, I never played it as a boring Dungeons and Dragons guy, I always made some cowboy dude that could use those kickass flintlock pistols and steam-powered tick-tock mechanical man exo-skeletons and junk.

Oh, its not that you couldn't have technologist guys that were bad, I mean, there's obvious junk like Jack the Ripper and Frankenstein who were definitely Science Gone Too Far guys, but I stil think it woulda been better if magic was generally always bad to fool with.

That's how hillbillies that actually believe in magic in Real Life think it works anyways.

Oh, they believe in White Magic, but its always been about as reliable as medieval technology, y'know, it like going to a barber to get a headache cured, or it don't do anything at all for yas.

Well, Black Magic works 'cause you are asking for a favor, you owe something everytime you use it, and its gonna cost you more than it was worth, and that's the only reason it works.

But when you use White Magic, yer asking for a favor from some Benevolent Force that don't really want anything from you, y'know?

That's why White Magic hardly ever works, unless mebbe its to undo something Black Magic did, or if yer a virgin that can ride a unicorn or some shit like that heh.

Well, whatever, I'm not even sure what I like is really the Steampunk thing, I think that's probably just a goony Marketing Buzzword for something that supposed to be more subtle in the background, y'know, like Steam Powered Exo-Skeletons and stuff ahaha.

But that shit could be pretty cool, fights aboard crazy prototype versions of Zeppelins and Submarines and Trains and those bikes with the Huge Wheels and trips to the Moon back in the days before radio communication, y'know, all Jules Verne meets Baron Munchausen, in the setting of all the Classic Monster Movies, where you could crash and sink in the ocean and you couldn't just whip out the cell phone and call for help.

Everybody dressed up in exotic outfits with ruffles and bowler hats, you can't tell me that a guy with Delicate 1800s Sensibilities like Raph wouldn't like that, lush estates with mansions fulla red carpets and red drapes, and you can use that Classical Music Trick that makes your pile of crap seem Timeless.

You could have two continents like they got in WoW, too, y'know, the Old World, and the Frontier, with cowboys fighting gold miner ghost towns fulla zombies, and Solomon Kane hunting witches and everything, and Carnvials fulla Carnies and Freaks.

You even got the potential for Ballroom Dancing and Symphonies and Fiddler Ho-downs, and mebbe even the Jitterbug, if you don't give a shit about historical continuity between areas, and I don't see why you would, since you got magical shit in there.

And the Historical Continuity of the Real World is all shot to hell anyways, there's corners of the world where you can still find Aborigines, and Amish Folks, and places where Bon Jovi is still popular.

C'mon, that'd be kickass, man, there's a ton of toys you could play with there.

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