The Princess

This job guarding the Princess is pretty good.

But its not because guarding the Princess is good.

'Cause you could just go ahead and do your job and guard the Princess.

Or you can choose to not do your job, and not guard the Princess.

It's up to you.

But see, you should weigh your options carefully.

Because its only when you fail to guard the Princess that things start getting interesting.

'Cause then you can try to redeem yourself.

Or you can try to cover up your mistake.

Both of which can be pretty fun, and you got a lotta options, either way, depending on what exactly happened when you failed to guard the Princess.

I mean, if she gets assasssinated, insteada kidnapped, then you ain't got so many options, but there's still a few, y'know.

You can go after the assassins and try to bring them to justice.

Or you can go after the assassins, and try to get a cut of whatever they're getting paid for assaassination of the Princess.

Or you can go after the assassins, and try to collect the reward for killing the Princess before they have a chance to by taking credit for the assassination, and then turn around and kill the assassins when they come after you for ripping them off, and then tell the King that's why you took credit for the assassination in the first place.

And you can always frame somebody else for the murder, you don't actually have to bother with whoever is actually responsible, and you can probably collect some cash and valuable prizes from more than a few folks for doing that, too, if you put your framing rights up for sale and threaten a few folks that the king already don't like with the blame.

Or you can try to cover things up, and make it look like the Princess is still alive, by hiring somebody that looks like her to take her place, and then use that person as a pawn for your own personal political gain, that's always a laffer.

But if the guys going after the Princess are just trying to kidnap her, insteada assassinating her, then you got a lot more options.

'Cause you can go after the kidnappers, and try to bring 'em to justice.

Or you can go after the kidnappers, and try to get a cut of the ransom.

Or you can go after the kidnappers, pretend to join 'em, kill 'em all after you get your hands on the whole ransom for yourself, return the Princess to the King for another reward, end up looking like a hero, and maybe even get married to the Princess and get yourself a piece of the Kingdom.

Or you can go after the kidnappers, pretend to join 'em, kill 'em all after collecting the ransom yourself, sell the Princess to another country to use as a hostage, kill the guys that come to collect the Princess for the foreigners, mebbe mix in a few thwarted assassination attempts, just to keep things interesting, return her to the King for another reward, end up looking like a hero, and maybe even get married to the Princess and get yourself a piece of the Kingdom.

Heck, you could probably kidnap the Prince in all the confusion, too, especially if he wants to come with us to "prove his quality" against the kidnappers, and he's prolly worth a lot more in ransom than the Princess.

And even if nobody comes to kidnap the Princess, we could kidnap her ourselves, and have the whole initial kidnapping thing just be a farce to get the ball rolling, with a little help from good folks down at the local pub.

Or you can sit here and do your job and guard the Princess like a shmuck and nobody will ever remember your name and they'll all just keep treating you like a doormat for the rest of your life.

It's up to you.

Tap me on the helmet if you decide anything interesting or see anybody coming, I'm gonna close my eyes for a minute, the Princess keeps me up pretty late, y'know, nudge nudge say no more.