Zombies Are For Girls

At first I thought the Zombie Apocalypse was frickin' awesome, oh man, fighting zombies, especially the really gross and scary ones, was fun as hell.

I even thought zombies were sorta interesting, y'know, like, you can guess what some of 'em did for a living, by how they're dressed and where you find 'em, and you can tell how some of 'em died, some of 'em even got golf clubs stuck in their heads an shit.

Yah, that's a laugh the first few hundred times you see it.

But after a while, when you get used to how they move and junk, killing 'em becomes automatic, and you hardly notice 'em, yer like a horse swatting flies off its ass with its tail while its head is up to more important business.

Honestly I roll my eyes and sigh when they jump out from behind shit nowadays.

Yah, it isn't the zombies that are spooky, its the empty houses and airports and stuff that gets to me.

I dunno, its just creepy having to go into those dusty dark and silent tombs that used be normal places, I'd rather stay out in the street.

I don't like seeing all that dead stuff from the old world, magazines that'll never see another issue printed, tv sets with their eyes closed, radios that don't even pick up static, its just silence on the airwaves, pictures of family vacations, mail on the kitchen table, closests full of clothes.

Too many ghosts in there, gives me the creeps, makes me feel it too much, y'know, how quiet everything really is.

But the girls love that shit, they're totally into nosing around in other people's drawers and looking for dirty laundry and edible panties and hand-cuffs, going through closets, searching for porno mags under a kid's bed, reading diaries and love letters.

It seems like it brings them to life and makes them laugh, hell, they like digging through other people's shit even when it makes them cry 'cause "aw, its so sweet!" and stuff.

Yah, that's the exact opposite of what it does to me, that junk makes me get all quiet and gloomy, like I'm stuck in a funeral home.

Its weird, huh?

Well, whatever, I can't wait for the next apocalypse, hopefully its something better than this stupid zombie one for girls, something with aliens and robots to fight and flying saucers and disco lasers and shit.