Monday, February 12, 2007

Back and Forth

"Uh, what just happened?"

"We just used reverse probability field photometry as a blueprint to reassemble you on the quantum level within a high-energy null space field at the moment of your death and then we simply let the field collapse."


"Did you ever see that movie Jurassic Park?"


"Y'know how they put the dinosaurs back together?"

"Ah, yah, there was some cartoon with a wizard about bugs and frogs and the alphabet or some shit."

"Well its like that."

"Ah, so you like, brought me back from the dead?"

"Uhmmm, yes."

"Hey, can you guys bring anybody back to life?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"Can you like, bring Abraham Lincoln back to life?"

"We brought him back to life a long time ago, he's been playing guitar in Pink Floyd 2 for years now."

"Whoah shit!"

"Yah, its pretty cool, huh?"

"Yah! Hey, can you bring Elvis back to life?"


"Aw man, why not?"

"Elvis is still alive, he's been captain of the Federation Starship Banana Sandwich for almost eleven thousand years now."

"Ah! How about Molly Ringwald, before she started to look like a blow-up doll?"

"Naw, turns out that's a lot harder than it seems, but we did give her bigger boobs."

"Wow! Hey, can you hook a brother up with some, y'know, uh, a little something extra like that?"

"Its part of our standard operating procedure after so many years of hearing the same request over and over again, its just the cold from the cryo tube, don't worry about it."

"Dude you guys are awesome."

"Heh thanks."

"Hey can you bring my buddy Jimmy back to life?"

"James 'Black Crow' Campbell, born 1974 PGD, died 2018 PGD from snake poison on the set of the remake of Air Wolf?"

"Yah, he ain't really an indian, is he?"


"Hah, I knew it, that frickin' idiot owes me like fifty bucks, man. So like, what happened to us?"

"Well, you seen that movie Terminator?"

"Yah sure."

"Y'know how the robots and the humans had a huge war and stuff?"


"Well, basically it was like that, except there weren't any robots walking around with machine guns like there was in that movie, there was just this artificial intelligence that didn't require an actual physical form..."

"I don't get it."

"Okay, there were robots."

"Ah, alrighty, keep going."

"So, okay, uhm, all the humans got wiped off the face of the earth by these robots, except Elvis, who had run off with the Big Headed Aliens, but then Elvis came back, and his music touched the heart of the robots, and eventually they started to feel really bad about killing all the humans, so they used their advanced technology to create this program that sifts through the quantum debris fields and reassembles everyone to make up for it."

"Dude, that's crazy! So we're like, humans created by robots?"


"And we created the robots, right?"


"Dude that is crazy!"

"If you think that's nuts, you won't believe what we're working on bringing back to life next, the big bang is still giving us a little trouble, though."

"Hey man, I'm cool with whatever, as long as I get my fifty bucks."

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