Shit is Worse than Shite

I don't understand why its okay (and even considered cutie-pie) to use the words "shite" and "poop" and "doodoo" but its not okay to say "shit."

Just like I don't understand how anybody can say its alright to say "arse" and "butt" and "tush" and "hiney" but its not okay to say "ass."

They all mean the same thing.

How can shit be worse than shite?

And then there's the word "crap," which is somehow floating in the gray area between "shit" and "shite" in terms of offensiveness, like, "crap" is not as bad as "shit," but its not as good as "shite."

So there's definitely a scale of offensiveness.

And the weirdest thing is, somehow we all know where each and every word sits on this mystical scale of offensiveness, compared to any other word, I mean, I can give you any list of words and you can sort them in terms of offensiveness, from least offensive to most offensive, and I bet I could compare your list to just about anybody elses and they'd be identical.

How is that possible?

Its like Jungian Collective Subconsciousness shit or something.

And words would be sitting in different places on the scale of offensiveness even if they mean the exact same thing.

Heck, seems like they sit in different places on the scale of offensiveness especially if they mean the exact same thing.

That is all so fucking weird.

Its like we have all these different words that mean the exact same thing just so that we can select some kinda weird Desired Level of Offensiveness or something.

Man, nobody ever talks about this fucking shit.

Well, they can't talk about this shit, because its too offensive to talk about.

But somehow they all know exactly how offensive it is to talk about, even though they can't talk to anybody about it, because its too offensive.

You know what else is funny, there's one King of the Bad Words, and we all know what it is, so I won't say it, 'cause that would just be gratuitous textual violence or something.

Did you ever wonder if a new word could come along one day and challenge it for the crown?

Like, is that possible?

Or is it the King of Bad Words Forever and Ever, like, it holds down the polarity of the "naughty" end of the spectrum, or something, so nothing could ever beat it, not in a thousand millions years, even though, by then, we won't even be fucking anymore because we'll all be pure cosmic energy or some shit.

Well, its funny, 'cause "shag" and "bop" and "bang" and twenty other words mean the exact same fucking thing, but they ain't as bad.

"Oh man, c'mon, tits is way worse than boobs, and boobs is way worse than boobies, well, unless yer a dairy farmer, or something, 'cause then tits is actually better than boobies, I mean, its almost scary if a farmer calls them things boobies, y'know?"

Man humans are a fucking riot sometimes ahaha.