Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Air Wolf 2

Starring that kid from Napolean Dynamite or somebody cheaper that looks sorta like him, Air Wolf 2 is the story of a lonely futuristic helicopter from the 80s who follows a kid around on his bike and tries to make friends with people by shooting its missiles at stuff.

"Go away Air Wolf! You're messing up my hair and scaring off all the chicks!"

"Nod once for yes, and twice for no, Air Wolf! Did Timmy fall down a well at the old Parson's Farm?"

"Stupid helicopter! It doesn't know anything!"

"Don't say that, Officer McScrooge! You'll hurt Air Wolf's feelings!"

"Its just a stupid machine full of knobs and levers! It doesn't have feelings!"

"He wants us to follow him!"

"Well kid, I think this log cabin full of skeletons that Air Wolf brought us to is the folks that used to take care of Air Wolf!"

"Air Wolf doesn't understand! He wasn't programmed with a knowledge of death! He thinks they need help!"

"Can't you get him to land for a sec? I'm getting dizzy from yelling over the sound of his engines! We really need him to help us find Timmy!"

"Air Wolf needs to fly to communicate with us!"

"Stupid Helicopter! He probably killed all these skeletons in the cabin! And now he's going to get Timmy killed by wasting all our time!"

"Don't say that, Office McScrooge! Those were his friends! We need to explain death to him!"

"I'm not talking to no stupid helicopter! It's just a stupid machine!"

"Look, there's the well at the old Parson's Farm!"

"Air Wolf, you saved Timmy!"

"I guess that stupid helicopter isn't so bad, after all!"

"I'm glad you had a change of heart, Officer McScrooge!"

"Goddam stupid helicopter, there goes my hat! Get out of here, you're messing up my hair!"

"HA HA HA I think Air Wolf likes you, Officer McScrooge!"

Hmm, only thing its missing is the obligatory strip club scene, kinda hard to do with a helicopter, but we could make Timmy's distraught mother a stripper with a heart of gold.

No comments: