Friday, February 16, 2007

Exciting Times

So I hear CCP bought White Wolf, and they're going to work together on a World of Darkness MMO, and the very first thing I thought was "man, pen and paper roleplaying game companies must not make any money nowadays."

And then I thought about how many people I actually knew in real life that ever bought anything from White Wolf, and it made sense.

And the next thing I thought, after hearing more about it, was "oh man! no way! a multiplayer version of Vampire Bloodlines with the additional bonus action of being a Werewolf or a Wizard! How awesome can you get! Exciting times!"

But that euphoria didn't last long, 'cause I know that the real reason Vampire Bloodlines was cool was because it was made by some of the dudes who did Fallout and Arcanum, its those guys that are awesome, and not the genre.

And that made me think about how awesome an Arcanum Online would be, with that turn of the century steam-punk Stovepipe Mechanical Armor and those Flintlock pistols and Blimp Fights and stuff! Oh yah, baby! Exciting times!

Man, we have to wait for-frickin-ever for those guys to make new games, and everything sucks until they do make something new, and even when they do finally make something new, IT ISN'T MULTIPLAYER.

But I suppose I can't complain, 'cause if I was one of those guys, I woulda just made one game, and then collected my money and disappeared to a tropical island somewhere, I mean, you gotta give 'em some credit for not running off and leaving us to die with all the sucky game designer guys.

And then I thought about how we still haven't seen any wrestling moves in MMOs, its still basically "stand toe to toe like a couple of chess pieces and do the lumberjack 'till one of you falls over," with the exception of Matrix Online (I guess), with its ground-breaking "combat lock technology," which didn't exactly make people crap themselves with joy, so how are the guys who did EVE Online (where you can't even get out of yer stupid spaceship) gonna do junk like vampires latching on to each other and drinking blood and werewolves tearing people's arms off and stuff?

And that made me wonder what a Vampire game made by Raph would be like, y'know?

You'd probably be a vampire with twenty seven dance moves and a high maintenance textiles business who rode around on an ostrich, and you'd be able to turn the blood off in the options.

Ahaha oh I'm just kidding.


And then I thought about how long we're gonna have to wait till this thing comes out, just so we can all realize it sucks because werewolves aren't allowed to tear people's arms off in the Newbie Yard or whatever, and how much longer it'll take for somebody to learn from all the mistakes and go back to the drawing board and do it better afterwards, and I'm pretty sure I'll be a totally scary dessicated mummy in real life by the time anything even remotely like "Vampire Bloodlines Multiplayer, WITHOUT all the extra Werewolf and Wizard Stuff" comes out, if we haven't blown up the earth by then.

And that made me realize that if I can just wait long enough, I won't have to play Fallout online.

And if I wait a little longer, I won't have to play a spaceship game.

I know I'm jaded, but its starting to look like a toss-up between whether it'd be easier to actually do it in real life or play a fun game about it.

I mean, they're still working the kinks out of sword games, we haven't used swords in a million years, man.

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