Saturday, February 3, 2007

Amish Slasher Movies

The Opposite of Every Slasher Movie:

A pick-up truck full of good, wholesome, god-fearing amish kids from the country on their way to a sinfully delicious Forbidden Clog Dancing Party in the Big City take a wrong turn in Suburbia while trying to find a short-cut!

When their pick-up truck gets a flat tire after running over a suspiciously-placed lawn gnome, they become hopelessly lost in a senseless maze of side streets and begin to fight amongst themselves!

But their night of terror is only beginning, as they fall prey to copy-cat serial killers, policemen who were picked on in highschool, ADD kids who play too many violent video games and forget to take their medicine, middle-aged suburban satanists, self-mutilating goth kids who think they're vampires, road-rage lawyers, country-line-dancing prescription-drug-augmented soccer-moms, and a deformed cannibal mutant bowling team that lives too close to the power lines!

Their only hope is to follow the sound of a mysterious banjo-player and take shelter among the good militia folk of the local trailer park, who are armed to the teeth with flame throwers and semi-automatic rifles!

Will prayer and the stolen scientific technology of a fancy electrified fence be enough to hold the tide of bloodthirsty Suburbanites back until dawn?

Of course not!

P.S. The black guy and all the chicks that take off their shirts are the last people to die in this one, what a twist!

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