Bad Fashions

Remember that thing chicks used to do with their hair, that sheer cliff-of-hairspray tidal wave thing, straight up from their fore-head?

Goddam that was so horrible and hilarious.

And guys used to roll their pants up at the bottom into these weird ankle-grabbing bicycle-guy twist-thingies that we thought were sexy to women or something, I guess, like some kinda queer twist on the turn-of-the-century days when seeing a woman's ankle was s'posed to drive men crazy and shit.

Hey baby don't let my fine masculine ankle-cuffs drive you too wild, now! Whoohoo!

And whoah man, you had to make sure you did it right, your pants-cuff-rolling had to be tight, and small, and if you did yer pants-twisting wrong, then you looked like some kinda idiot and you might as well kill yourself.

Yah, you had to do that pants twisting thing even if you wore shorts, sometimes, which was an ultra-poomfy experience, let me tell ya, every time you sat down there'd be this whoosh noise as the trapped air escaped.

And for a while, in the midwest, at least, all the guys my age were wearing these short-sleeved Ocean Pacific button-up beach-boy surfing shirts, for some reason, I dunno, I think its just 'cause they were expensive or something, but it definitely wasn't popular because we all loved surfing, that's fer sure.

Yah, we all went around looking like the first guy to die in every monster movie, y'know, that cocky preppy dude.

Meanwhile, the guys from the 70s, with their flare-bottom pants and flat parted-hair, that we tight little pants-twisters and hairspray ledge chicks used to totally laugh at, are cool again.

But I've noticed that the Comedically Large Big Plastic Comb in yer back pocket that you could use as a make-shift lever to tighten the crotch of yer tight jeans even further has yet to make a return haha.