Thursday, February 8, 2007

Silent But Violent

I dunno about you, but I think the fact that there's no such thing as super-deadly poisonous farts is proof that the universe is actually ruled-out by some kinda benevolent force who set limits on shit like that.

I mean, sure there's farts that smell all nasty and almost make you wanna barf if yer caught in the fart-dispersal-cone, like sausage and peanut farts, and there's even those hot and wicked squealers that can make yer eyes and nose burn and water and stuff, y'know, like vegetarian farts, but there's no kinda fart that'll actually kill you or your loved ones, even if you let it loose under a blanket or something so you get blasted in the face with a concentrated puff of fartage.

And there just doesn't seem to be any good scientific reason why there aren't ever any deadly ones like that, when you take shit like the chemical changes required for spontaneous human combustion into consideration.

Hmm, mebbe there are deadly farts like that, and there's some kinda cover-up, some kinda fart conspiracy put into effect in the 1950s to prevent public deadly-fart-inspired panic or something.

Well, I dunno, but trust no one.

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