Wednesday, February 21, 2007


There are two kinds of successful business men.

One works hard, and likes to be judged on the merit of his work.

He is usually honest, because deception tends to be unnecessary when you actually have the power to do the things you want to do.

His work is usually a straight-forward thing, with a long term plan, and milestones along the way, he runs like a locomotive, slow but relentless, always gaining ground.

The other kind of successful businessman works hard on the appearance of working hard.

He is hardly ever honest, because he's a master of the powers of illusion, and honesty is inefficient when you have the magical power to make things seem the way you want them to, without actually having to do anything.

That's not to say that it takes less energy to be an illionsionist than it does to be an honest working man, sometimes I think it actually takes more energy to maintain your spells, when you consider all the background work that goes into things like remembering everyone's name and personality and perspective.

The illusionist's work is a temporary sort of magic that requires continuous attention, he knows that his enchantment will eventually wear thin when he isn't around to freshen them up with a personal appearance, and at some point he'll be exposed as a villain.

Even though his "plans" may seem to be long term on the surface, because that's what his greedy audience always wants to hear, because that allows them to attempt to out-plan him, the professional illusionist actually always has a more serious and extremely short-term plan and exit strategy that usually involves some sort of tropical island.

Most people tend to say they prefer to be around the hard working type of fellow, but that isn't the way it works, he really isn't as fun to be around as the illusionist, because the hard working type doesn't usually have any skill in catering himself to your presence and doesn't feel the need to keep you entertained, since he only cares about his work and your work and the work should speak for itself.

Some folks try to be a mix of hard work and illusionist, combining the best and the worst of both types, but the more they lean one way or the other, the more they are pulled toward appreciating values that are in opposition, so no one tends to remain in the middle for long, and although they may swing back and forth a lot, they're actually working against themselves when they do that, and nothing they do is as effective as it would be if they would just stick to one method or another.

Usually people seem to start out as one type or another, and then they become hybrids when they're forced to move out of the way for a more specialized and powerful archtype, which allows them to feel like they still have something to offer.

And sometimes they try to switch sides when they meet with a particular gruesome failure at the hands of their polar opposites.

Sometimes illusionists and hard working types will work together for mutual benefit, like a friendship between a salesman and a financial officer, although that's a volatile situation, since neither of them actually has much appreciation and understanding for each other beneath the surface, it seems that illusionists tend to band together with other illusionists and share their love of illusions with each other, and hard working folks tend to seek the comfort and companionship of their own kind, if there is any such thing.

And of course, there are also the successful types of unbusinessmen, those who work hard on not working hard and use their vast powers of illusion to avoid wasting their energy on maintaining expensive illusions, but we already have too many of those hogging the playstation, so you need to pick one of the first two kinds of guys and stick to it, and hey, next time why don't you get some beer on your way back from your hard day at the factory?

What, you think my personal attention and all this awesome business advice grows on trees?

Dude, its my turn to play, you talk to these goddam ungrateful plebes for a while.

And hey, can you get me a beer while yer up?

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