Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Scribbling About Scribbling

I know a lot of people that think it'd be easy to write something every day.

And there's a lot of people that know that it isn't anywhere near as easy as it looks.

Y'know, like, anybody that ever actually tried to do it instead of just thinking they could do it heh.

And its really hard to do stuff that you think is good every day.

Mostly I write and publish shit so that the fear of public humiliation will motivate me to edit and correct the crap afterwards, 'cause that's like, a kind of mental exercise I think I should do that I really have to force myself to do.

And I spend most of my energy doing that.

Editing and proofreading.

And that's why I don't use spellcheck.

And its interesting to me where I fuck things up, when it isn't just a typo or one of those bad edits where I end up deciding not to say something and then I delete a bunch of stuff and weld what's left over together, those can be especially bad, sometimes, but you don't really learn nothing you can use to fix yourself up from that kinda thing, except that its dangerous to do a delete-and-weld ahaha.

Y'know, like I know I have a problem with words with french roots, 'cause their I and E rules are all backwards (well, to me heh).

And you find words that have weird spellings and phrases with really strange construction and it makes me think about how it musta originated from the multicultural crews of pirate ships and cool shit like that.

But you also find things like places where you would definitely say "a" instead of "an" in front of a word that started with a vowel or an "h" and I love that kinda shit 'cause that's the places where the books are wrong y'know language comes from the people, the people who speak it and evolve it through slang and stuff, and not the dictionary, the dictionary does not dictate language to us, we dictate the language to it, and its the failure of all the grammar and language guys (and english professors like Bloom haha) if they don't study us properly ahaha.

That's another reason I really gotta work hard on editing shit just right and I feel terrible if I fuck something up (and boy do I ever fuck a lot of shit up when I'm just flying along and leaving my hands chasing after me on the keyboard like a little brother in a snowsuit heh).

Anyways that's at least 50% of the reason I write anything on the internet, its just a selfish self-improvement mental exercise kinda thing, y'know.

And I don't even really like doing it, I mean, its sorta like doing situps, it ain't fun to proofread yer own shit, its gives me a goddam headache sometimes, and misspelling crap in front of all these professional proofreader guys like Dundee and shit isn't exactly what I'd call fun for my ego either heh.

But its good exercise and it builds character and it keeps me humble.

I don't really care if other people fuck shit up, though, I mean, I've got tons of pals who have english as like their 4th language and shit.

But that's just another thing that bugs me if I fuck shit up, 'cause I don't wanna confuse them, I'm supposed to be teachin' them how we really talk y'know you can't have any goddam typos and fuckups innit especially when you got buddies like that that are gonna try to read your crap heh.

Those guys are all super fucking smart language-puzzle-solving machines like Daniel Jackson compared to regular people, though, and they're all real life adventurers on top of it, so its not like its that big of a deal with them if I fuck shit up ahaha.

Anyways another reason I do what I do is 'cause of that Chowder Society from Ghost Story thingie, where I think its gotta be one of the hardest things in the world to be the guy that had to come up with ten Fresh Helicopter Stories in one day, and its good for your brain.

And that's where I'm just testing myself and training myself to be able to come up with shit really fast, like, "you have thirty minutes to write three stories" and shit like that.

And I try to do 'em all as original as I can on top of it, I try to make "thirty minutes for three stories that nobody ever heard of before," just to prove to myself that everything hasn't been done before.

But that's a lot easier said than done, especially when you just wrote something an hour ago that used up all yer best shit, and you've been doing three of 'em a day like that for a week or six months or ten years or whatever like I have ahaha.

That's my personal battle with entropy thingie.

That's also why I gotta take breaks and recharge my batteries sometimes though heh.

Hey it should help us if I ever gotta come up with a story every night to keep the cannibals from eating us during an apocalypse or something ahaha.

But that's another selfish reason I do the things I do, too.

Oh, and then I like trying little multi-dimensional plot and logic games and making language puzzles out of shit, I dunno what you call that exactly, but Lovecraft did a lot of that shit, he just wrote short little stories to share his magician tricks with people who like to tell stories, I mean, even though he was a totally awesome flowery poetry-talking dude, he was also a master of format and structural tricks and shit.

Sundry does a lot of that too.

And that brings me up to about 99% of the reason I write shit here.

The last 1% is cheering folks up and making 'em laugh and giving 'em the beginnings of ideas or giving 'em a leg up or giving 'em something that'll let them get out of their own head for a sec or whatever if they need it.

And roasting people I like ahaha.

So there's really no serious part to it, y'know?

Well, not for you at least, since you ain't gotta proofread and fix all my shit you lucky bastidges ahaha.

I'm not doing "philosophy" or practicing to be a "writer" or an "artist" or whatever I'm a guy that had a scholarship for the Art Institute that can build robots from scratch and create my own programming languages who ends up being a business analyst all the time 'cause the sad truth of it all is that nobody is as good at reading people and predicting exactly what's gonna happen as a guy that understands robots and programming heh.

Not that that's a whole lot of fucking fun either.

Dude I need to find some rich person with some kinda Killer Think Tank Anti-Amish Commune for Renaissance Men who like Big Lumberjack Breakfasts and Fake Hippy Chicks and Post Apocalyptic Recreational Vehicles or something, you'd think this stupid fucking internet thingie would help us find some awesome shit like that but this retarded-ass planet seems to be totally busted or something man all I can find is crap about Anime that's so fucking 80s and Health Tips for Cats and Britney Spears where the fuck is all the good stuff man ahaha.

What the hell was I supposed to be talking about aw goddammit I did it again didn't I.

See this is the kinda shit that happens when you try to wield more than eight streams of consciousness at once let that be a lesson to you ahaha.


Michael said...

Thank you for doing the shit you do, sir. It is, indeed, a worthy opportunity to step outside my own head.

Plus, every week or so you write something that makes me *have* to write something else! Good times.

- Michael Zenke

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Oh man I gotta get me some fans that ain't like three times smarter than me some day just so I can feel better about myself every once in a while y'know I don't need THIS much humiliation to get me to spellcheck my own shit heh.

I dunno why its so goddam hard to find somebody that ain't like three times smarter than me its like wtf man ahaha.