It is a well known fact, among certain Loremaster circles, that the Hobbits eat their dead.
That is why there aren't any graveyards in the Shire.
And its also why they lick their gross little lips and get that strange and distant look on their plump little faces whenever they remember their dead relatives.
Their farming operations are dedicated soley to the purpose of producing the special seasonings needed for their horrifying funerary rites and practices!
Have you ever seen a hobbit actually KILL a pig?
Just doesn't happen, the 1st level commoner can't digest pork, it takes an especially adventurous and heroic hobbit to digest anything as foreign to their usual ghoulish diet as coney even after boiling it at high temperatures in a stew!
The domesticated animals one may find throughout the Shire are merely part of an elaborate ruse which allows the hobbit community to continue to make their fiendish raids on the burial mounds of neighboring human settlements whenever it becomes necessary for their survival!
And that is also why there is so much unrest among the undead of the barrows!
Don't you find it odd that there aren't any halfling wights?
And look at their faces when they're forced to eat elven waybread!
Watch their crafty little carnie hands carefully!
I'm sure you'll notice the way that they crush it into thousands of nearly invisible crumbs so that they can brush it off their shirts and wipe their hands off on their pants without having to actually put any of the undesireable material into their tiny little bone-crushing mouths!
You think I'm crazy?
You won't think I'm crazy after you've checked out the meat processing plant located in the basement of the Mathom House!
Look at the bones, man!
"Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick, I just watched this big fat greasy elf eat a pork chop!"
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