Make Them Hunch Their Backs More

I skipped the part where the automated star power harvester latched on to our sun and began to vampire off it and transmit the energy it stole from our sun back to its homeworld as microwaves.

Slower than light, but the homeworld would be happy to get whatever it could get, with all power going directly to air conditioning, 'cause it was like, the middle of summer there, for them.

The star harvester was designed to work sort of like a pacemaker on a star, not to keep it healthy, but to speed up its heart beat and make it pump its blood quicker.

So I had to go back in time and fix that or the Earth would get fried and the Time Patrol would never be founded.

There's like this place where most of the parallel universes get all fried from using asteroids against each other ahaha.

Anyways that's besides the point.

When I went back in time and set the aliens back by screwing up their planet first so they couldn't send star harvesters, I was totally cheating for the human side ahaha.

But it made me realize that I could also screw up the founding of the Time Patrol and keep setting it back, even though I'm one of original members of the Time Patrol, well, actually, its more like because I'm one of the original members.

See, 'cause, I can like, go back in time and make sure nobody else gets hired and shit too heh.

There's Like No Noobs Allowed in the Time Patrol.

All these little pranks where people remember things different than the way they actually happened 'cause one of us jackasses went back in time and donked with it ahaha.

Every month, I just go and set the foundation of the Time Patrol back by another month, just 'cause it makes all us guys that are already in the Time Patrol laugh AHAHA.

Dude did you see the Sony Killer Time Travelling Robots yet?

Oh man, huh?

Those things chased me through a field of grass once in the middle of the night it was totally freaky.

See you thought I was kidding or being some crazy ole mountain man about that shit haha.

Somebody has to be making a movie where the descendents of those things are killing people ahaha.

*straightens his Antirobot Hat*

Stardate 8848.41 Version One of the Universal Weapons Platform is paraded about.