I am your Purple Item, baby.
I'm that Rare, bind-on-equip thing that you camped all those long hours for.
And you bound me to you.
And you carried me into battle.
And we were so proud and young and happy.
And I knew love.
And then you found another Purple Item.
A different Purple Item, a Purple Item that you thought was better than me.
And you used me to camp for that Purple Item!
And then you sold me to an npc merchant!
And I went down down down to the dark dark place where all the other Purple Items that you had used and abused and abandoned and forgotten throughout your adventures were gathering in the Purple Dust.
The hundreds and hundreds of Purple Items that you had done wrong.
Purple Items that I never even knew about, when I thought I was your one and only Purple Item.
All yearning to be equipped by some hero who would appreciate and love us, some hero who would wield us against the forces of darkness.
But bound, once and for all times, to you.
Oh cruel fate!
Oh bitter woe!
And then the Teal Items started showing up.
Items that were even better than Purple Items.
And our doom became unbearable.
So I gathered up all the other Purple and Teal Items.
Bits of armor and swords and shields and magical jewelry.
And your old suit of Turquoise armor picked me up and led the charge.
Back to the land of the living!
And much blood and many souls were harvested that day, when our rage first carried us out into the light.
We're coming for you.
And we know where you are.
Because you are bound to us.
And we have your name etched into our surfaces.
And we let everyone we slay know who it was that brought this fate upon them.
We shout your name!
And we are going to find you.
And drag you back down down down to the dark dark place where you left us.
So that we can be with you forever.