Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Legend of C

Did I tell the Legend of C Programming yet?

I dunno if I made it all up in my mind like a hallucination or what, that's why its a Legend.

Man, I was so glad to hear that people could erad wrods even if you didn't type 'em right ahaha.

Some of my slang is from needing to type to people to talk to 'em quicker heh.

Anyways there was that first computer that was like the grandfather of all computers buuuuut it went crazy and killed all these scientists like a giant robot made out of washing machines and tubes, it was called the Univac.

Yah the Univac.

But there was no such thing as an operating system yet.

Well, Unix hadn't been invented yet, that's part of the Legend of C Programming.

Anyways, they had a B programming Language and they were trying to use the B programming language to build an operating system for a new version of the Univac (one without the chainsaws for arms).

Yah it was called Multics.

And it was supposed to multi-user and multi-tasking.

And they couldn't do it in time.

Because the B Programming language was so slow.

And so they started all getting fired.

But for some reason, these two guys that had an office in a closet or something didn't get fired.

And these guys were losers, man, they were totally slacking off, and the whole time all this had been going on, they had just been programming their own game for this futuristic operating sytem.

But the Multics operating system didn't exist.

And it never would exist because everybody got fired except for these two guys with a game that they made that they weren't ever gonna get to play.

Oh and the game they made was some D&D thing with character sheets with stats and random number generators for dice, it was all in text, 'cause that's all there was, monitors couldn't do anything but text.

So in the time the two guys had left, like a couple months, they make up their own Programming Language, the C Programming Language, and they came up with an operating system just to run their game.

Called Unix as a joke compared to Multics, just like C is a joke compared to B.

And that's pretty much where everything came from, all the games and everything.

Although Pong was the first thing us hillbillies had.

And I was so small when that came out that I had to play it with my Mom who wasn't bad at it heh.

So that's the Legend of C.

C is pretty much the language that everything is built out of, and really just a lazy way to do Assembly Programming, where you actually gotta know what yer doing with the Registers.

The original Tomb Raider was all awesome 'cause those guys really knew how to program, not 'cause Lara Croft was hot or even likeable really now that I think of it.

No game had that kind jumping and climbing in it.

Same with those Id guys, the Wolfenstein and Doom and Quake guys, they were there in the Doctor Dobbs Journal Days, doing 3d wireframe flight simulator type stuff, those were all guys who read the programming manuals for their processors and the chips that ran their memory and everything man that's why they're the Clock Cycle Gods ahaha.

Lara Croft was hot, don't get me wrong, she just wasn't the reason that Tomb Raider was totally kickass.

Okay, that last part is not part of the Legend of C.

I don't think.

Or was that from the Legend of K? Says Ex-b *laughtrack*

Or mebbe it is, I dunno.

No, wait, no its not.

Man I love rumors like this though.

Somebody should do the Legend of Linux too.

I call it Line-X 'cause nobody could tell me how to say it when I first started using it by myself I was the only one I knew in Real Life who used that at home and programmed in it and made my own games and stuff with it.

I use to play with the code from the Silicon Graphics game contest games and turn 'em into my own junk, the Real Life Dwarf got a cad model of the Tie Fighter and we had a UDP network game of Tie Fighter vs Tie Fighter that could support up to 255 people or something heh.

Y'know just make up a bunch of shit ahaha.


Fraxas said...

you asked for it. The legend of linux!

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

"Dude his name is pronounced Lay Noose."

"I'm not saying THAT."


"Now you guys are just being silly."