Mister Fantastic

I saw this commercial.

It was one of those "hair-care" products that Old Guys use to color their hair so they'll look younger.

And the thing that is really bugging me about it is that it was designed to "leave a little gray in there."

I can't even begin to tell you why that makes it so fucked up to me, I mean, I got stuff lighting up all over the board from beginning to end man let's just say that there doesn't seem to be anything about it that isn't fucked up heh.

Some kinda Arms Race with swirly old mummy alchemists trying to out-stealth each other's hair coloring tricks with the Latest In Hair Coloring Technology for totally implausible sexual advantages or some shit like that I mean c'mon seriously which part of that is "okay" for you?

And that's only the first of many many many levels where its all totally fucked up, I mean, I'm pretty sure that the dudes in these commericals are the same guys that were getting their ass-hair implanted into their craniums a couple years ago ahaha.

What's next y'know?

Feasting on the livers of children every seven years and sleeping in regenerative cocoons made out of their own saliva, right?

Anyways I think the thing that's really bugging me about it the most is that I got a little gray now.

Yah yah I ain't really a bald dude, I'm a long-haired blond guy, and I got all my hair, 'cept I'm starting to get that Reed Richards thing going on, y'know, with silver in the sideburns and shit.

But a little bit of gray is like, supposed to be good, according to these guys.

That's the cool new shit, that's what you want, y'know heh.

So mebbe those liver-munching plastic-vampire freaks ain't so bad after all ahaha.