Friday, September 12, 2008

A True Taste of Immortality

Agatha Christie was born in 1890, the year that Idaho and Wyoming became a state and Sitting Bull was killed, which was only thirty years after Abe Lincoln left the stage, eight years after New York got its first electric street lights, and four years after France gave us the Statue of Liberty.

Germany still had a king at that point, and Russia still had a Tsar (the end of those monarchy thingies and that whole communist dealie with Lenin and Stalin and Trotsky and all them was actually about as far off into the future as Abe Lincoln was into the past).

She was twenty-four when World War I was starting up.

She died in 1976, which means she missed seeing Star Wars by one year.

But she probably saw the Planet of the Apes movies, and could've seen Jaws, so there's that heh.

Better yet, Jack Dempsey, the famous boxer guy, world heavyweight champ from 1919 to 1926, was born five years after Agatha, in 1895.

He died in 1983.

And it musta been pretty freaking weird for a tough guy like him to see Bruce Lee come (and go) eh?

And I can't imagine what musta been going through his mind when he had to watch David Hasselhoff strut around a talking car in his tight pants ahaha.

What did he think of Mr. T AHAHA.

Did Jack like Led Zeppelin?

He lived through the disco age.

And the 60s.

And the 50s.

And the 40s.

And the 30s.

And the roaring twenties.

The stuff you like musta been pretty different from the stuff he was listening to as a kid in the early 1900s heh.

And that's half a lifetime away from the sock hop crap that must've seemed like Heavy Metal to him ahaha.

Dude, Dempsey could've listened to Metallica back when they were good AHAHA.

And seen all the Star Wars movies that were worth seeing AHAHAHA.

Oh and Alien too!

Dempsey was twenty-five by the time that women got the right to vote, and the year he died was the same year that the first woman went into space.

That was also the same year that the first man-made object left the solar system (apparently the day when woman-made objects would leave the solar system was still way off in the distant future ahaha suckers).

Anyways putting yourself in Dempsey's shoes is like totally impossible, right?

He's like people from ten different time periods put together.

But now I'm gonna handshake back even farther.

Just a little.

Mark Twain published Huckleberry Finn six years before Agatha Christie was born (he died when she was twenty).

Andrew Jackson was the 7th president when Mark Twain was born (he died when Mark Twain was ten) and Abe Lincoln was only 26.

Andrew Jackson was born in 1767, which was the year that Mozart completed his first opera, at the age of eleven.

He was thirty years older than Mary Shelley.

So Mozart was eleven years older than Jackson who was thirty years older than the chick who wrote Frankenstein who was twelve years older than Abe Lincoln who was 26 years older than Mark Twain who was 55 years older than Agatha Christie (and sixty years older than Dempsey, who mighta hated Knight Rider and probably felt that the Ewoks ruined the trilogy).

That shit is awesome.

No comments: