Sunday, September 21, 2008

Just a Centon

I think you need to integrate your fantasy life with your menial household tasks a little more.

Perhaps that half-filled can of tomatoes is the very last half-filled can of tomatoes in the Intergalactic Wagon Train, the last tomatoes from our home planet, now that it has been destroyed by a terrible robot apocalypse.

And thus great care must be taken with the freshness of its contents, for it carries one last taste of a place called "home," a limited-use potion of childhood memories that must be used soon and can never be used again, with every passing moment the chemical bonds within it weaken, and it must be preserved!

And now you have been tasked by a sexy (and potentially dangerous) alien woman to find some strange and colorful little piece of xenopological pottery amongst the air-sealed panels and lockers and assorted storage areas of her mysterious ship, something that will, without doubt, turn out to be an intentional example of how different or similar this civilization is, from and to our own, designed by some prop-and-special effects guy who had never intended it to actually be used, and you must ponder the alien woman's impossible-to-guess storage methodologies to locate it, perhaps they sort things alphabetically, or by smell.

That's actually not that much of a stretch for me, I have no idea where an exotic alien female might store her futuristic-looking ration containers heh.

You can add in some stuff about being the last of your kind and the continuation of the species and all that classic shiznit if you require some motivation to perform her simple tasks as assigned, and you can always season it to suit your tastes, spice things up with some exotic alien mating rituals, perhaps her alien physiology is different, her erogenous zones may be located in previously undiscovered and unusual places, y'know, whatever.

Thanks to your healthy science-fiction-fueled imagination, and the Trapped in an Elevator Effect, pretty much every chick can suddenly transform into that barefoot chick from the Forbidden Planet heh.

See, you didn't have to work this hard when the Sopranos were still on the air, 'cause that show was all about cooking and eating ahaha.

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