The Smoking Monkey Show

When I said we should do a TV show, I didn't mean a good one.

I don't wanna get trapped doing anything like the Mentalist, where we got characters that are supposed to be all super smart and stuff, duking it out in a battle of wits every episode, that kinda shit is way the hell too hard to write.

Yah, you can go ahead and try to pull shit like that off week after week after week, we'll see how long you last heh.

Yah, naw, I meant that we should do something with totally low standards and properly managed expectations and shit, y'know, like Knight Rider or something, something where folks would be surprised and happy any time we accidentally did something that was halfway decent.

Just thinking about all the parents that are gonna be stuck watching that Knight Rider show makes me laugh man ahaha.

But we could do something good for those people.

Maybe not something as good as Knight Rider, y'know, 'cause that's a lot of work, actually, you need a fancy looking car with like, working lights and stuff for that, and you gotta do jumps and stunts and stuff, there's way the hell too much effort and money and danger involved in something like that.

Naw, see, I was thinking more along the lines of one of those shows where they got a talking monkey or something.

Yah, naw, see, we don't need a monkey that can actually talk, we could just have the whole show be one of those voice-over narration type dealies, from the perspective of the monkey, like they did everything on the Wonder Years, y'know?

So we can save ourselves some money there, we could just get ourselves a nice cheap non-talking monkey fer something like that.

Yah, I dunno how much monkeys cost but they can't be that expensive, a non-talking monkey has gotta be cheaper than a talking car, its prolly only a couple hundred bucks or something.

See, that'd be perfect, and all the parents would be stuck watching our talking monkey show, too, y'know, 'cause you can't watch shit about serial killers, if yer a parent, and kids love that talking monkey shit hahaha suckers.

Dude c'mon seriously the added bonus of getting to torture all the parents stuck watching our talking monkey show with their kids really puts this one over the top heh.

And we can make the monkey do all sorts of bad shit, too, like smoking cigarettes and crap, so that the parents have to be mean to their kids and not let 'em watch the show 'cause the monkey might teach 'em to smoke ahaha awhellyah y'know now that's the kinda awkard and awesome shit that makes life worth waking up for in the morning ahaha.

Meanwhile all the cool kids at school with cool parents that let 'em watch the Smoking Monkey Show will get all the chicks, and the ones that aren't allowed to watch it will end up as social misfits and rejects and they won't be able to find anybody to go to Prom with let alone reproduce with and thus the Smoking Monkey Show Fans will eventually take over the world.

Heck, the controversy alone is all the publicity we need, y'know with the way the journalists on the news are all insane-o with the health consciousness stuff, trying to keep everybody frightened so they'll keep watching the news for answers, they're gonna look like extremist dietary whackos going after our cute little Smoking Monkey, what with their barbie doll plastic surgery faces all twisted up into unnatural and rubbery looking masks of corporate pharmaceutical-fueled outrage ahaha.

Hell yah man, we could probably even get some fundage from Big Tobacco, too, y'know, like the talking car commercial show gets money from whoever makes the car.

Dude, a smoking monkey is a million times more loveable and American than a smoking camel, I mean, c'mon, wtf, don't camels spit and shit?

And Tobacco is a plant, man, so its all "green" and automatically environmentally conscious and stuff, just like the peaceful nature-loving Monkey ahaha.

"The Smoking Monkey is against Global Warming!"

Yah man, see, this idea just keeps getting better and better.