Snake Oil Artist

My trick to maintaining my "journalistic integrity" or whatever is to not be a journalist.

Abstinence is the only thing that really works, trust me, I've tried everything.

Or I just go out there and steal stuff instead of taking bribes, that works pretty good.

Yah, see, 'cause that way its like you uh... earned it... or... something.

But then again, I'm not a whatever-you-are.

Yah, naw, see, my purpose is two-fold:

1. To "freak out the robots."

And the second one is something-something I forget.

Anyways you can't really maintain your artistic integrity by trying to present yourself as something that is better than you are, that's like the opposite of maintaining your artistic integrity, ain't it?

Holding yourself up to some weird ideal that ain't the real you?

Perpetuating some kinda illusion?

Yah, see, that's why you shouldn't try to be all "good" and not take bribes and stuff, 'cause fer one thing, its dishonest.

And fer the second thing, its something-something I forget.

Who cares really ahaha.