Saturday, September 13, 2008

No Seriously

There's a good reason to try to be ethical.

You can fool more people that way.

And you can string your friends and your family and everybody in your neighborhood and countless amounts of faceless strangers along with your benevolent behavior while you wait for a really good pay off to cash in on.

And you can even sell everybody out more than once.

You can sell everybody out every day, multiple times a day, you could even run a commercial between each of your benevolent gestures.

And since you are selling yourself out anyways, you might as well ask everybody to buy some Delicious Ramen Pride Noodles while they're at it.

And the better you are at doing that, the better the offers to sell out will be, and the more offers you will get.

But, and here's the important part, you can also ask everybody not to buy some Delicious Ramen Pride Noodles.


Insteada working malevolently toward your friends and your family and everybody in your neighborhood and all of the faceless strangers on the internet, you could share whatever powers you have to help them.

You can try to protect your friends, and your family, and everybody in your neighborhood, and even all of the faceless strangers on the internet.

Or teach them to protect themselves, in a certain way.

And then, for a certain fee, you could hand over your keys and look the other way, when a group of corporate barbarians showed up at the gate, wanting to plunder your town.

That's where the real money is baby ahaha.

Plus you don't have to put any serious effort into doing that shit AHAHA.

But still, you don't wanna do that too much.

'Cause of supply and demand, y'know.

The more restricted the access, the more presitigious and noble the plunder, the higher the pay-off for selling 'em out.

So even then, its good to hold out longer and maintain your integrity and be patient.

And there's only one thing that you really have to worry about.

And that's that people are gonna figure you out.

Yah, they have a way of figuring things out eventually.

Most of the time its the ones like us, who helped us get to the top, that start harboring resentment when we don't share the pay-offs with 'em.

They get all "dude you are treating me like one of the suckers! you're selling me out along with everybody else!"

So you got to watch out for those ones, they can be a real problem.

Especially if the pay-offs are so small that they're hard to divvy up amongst your goons without feeling like you ain't getting nothing for your troubles.

And there's some other types you need to be prepared for.

Which are detailed in chapter seven of my book, "Exploiting the Gray Areas for Dummies."

Hahaha I'm just kidding.

And that's just a small sample of the hilariousness you'll find in the "Bitch-a-Day Jokebook."

Don't forget to buy the t-shirt.

Or there might not be any left.

And then we won't be able to tell you apart from the suckers.

When it comes time to divvy up the loot.

Hahaha I'm just kidding.

No really I'm being serious this time.

Most people are predators.

But its pretty easy to see who is preying on who.

And who works together for mutual benefit.

And who doesn't.

And how much each of them are paid for doing it, or not doing it.

And what they're getting paid in.

Who takes advantage of who, how they do it, and how they profit from it.

And what tribe everybody is in.

And what tribes would fall for your shit.

And what tribes wouldn't fall for your shit, but might still put up with you anyways.

And what tribe you really need to be careful around.

Because they might be able to see right through shit that even you can't see through.

Even if they ain't saying nothing about it.

'Cause it ain't worth the time and energy for them to bother with it.


Hahaha I'm just kidding.

No seriously.

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