The Mad Scientist Party

Its stupid that there's only two political parties when even the Planet of the Apes had three.

Oh sure, they combined scientists and hippies, and separated the might-makes-right and religious folks into two separate groups, and that's a damned dirty hippy-ape trick to get the scientist-apes on their side, 'cause hippy-apes are the "artistic and persuasive" apes who make ape-movies.

Everybody wants the scientist-apes on their side 'cause they want weapons to use against the apes they disagree with.

But then everybody hates the scientists-apes.

Oh sure, all the fashionable and artistic hippy-apes are like, dude, scientist-apes are nerds, they collect comic books, they're ruining the planet, Paula Abdul is drunk, Ben and Jerry should use breastmilk, crystals have healing powers, do these flared jeans make my butt look fat?

And then religious apes hate us and cast their spells on us and stuff.

And the might-makes-right apes can't be bothered to learn anything from smart little scientific weakling apes but they need kickass futuristic helicopters and lasers and stuff to kill us with.

And then everybody is all like, no you scientist-apes can't have your political party 'cause it would only mess up whether the hippy-apes or the religious apes win.

Kinda hilarious for the math-hating apes to dictate the math of the situation to us ahaha.

Anyways I propose that we create a new party.

Yah, the Mad Scientist Party.

Only thing that sucks is that its gets kinda annoying to have your research interrupted all the time when the public demands to blabber with you.

I've been trying to do it for a while now and every time I turn my back to continue my research the villagers go right back to being depressed and crazy and demanding I do something about it and stuff its soooo annoying.

Its especially bad if I have to appear in person instead of communicating through holographic projection 'cause I live in a top secret underground research base near the planet's core, y'know, for the free geothermal energy, and its takes forever to teleport to the surface.

Yah so maybe we should just find a new planet.

Dude, I wonder if somebody even smarter than us already thought of that, y'know, like, its theoretically possible that somebody left all the moron-apes of our planet behind them a long time ago, and all the morons that got left behind were too moronic to make a record of it.

Yah, and then they just watch the morons do their little junk like a bunch of hamsters in a hamster cage, it'd be pretty easy to baby-sit all the little aluminum-foil space programs and laugh while making sure that the morons don't intercept any of your signals.

Our planet might actually be some sort of Prison Planet for the mentally inferior and unstable or something!

That would certainly explain of a few things.

Hmm, I'll need to check some of my instruments, try to figure out what I did wrong, why I got put here.

Yah, that'll be an embarrassing day, when we finally meet the "aliens" and learn that we've all been sentenced to Life on a Cosmic Short Bus!

Well, I don't care if they're smarter than us, I just want to be able to say "See! I told you so!" when it happens muahahaha *rubs hands together evilly*