Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sketch Artist

Hey Sun is still hiring.

I dunno what a Character Artist is, I guess I'm too much of a real artist to know heh heh *cough*

But I could definitely be a Sketch Artist.

Hell yah, Sketch Artists are kinda like weathermen, right?

They're like, "50% chance of Artistic Accuracy today" or something, ain't they?

"Dude, that picture could be anybody."

"Yah, I only know how to draw one kind of face."

"Yah, its like GI Joe, where they all had the same head but different colored hair."

Its like being a Somewhat Inaccurate and Hasty Artist With No Pressure heh.

"Hey man I can't help it if the victim sucks at describing stuff!"

"What kind of nostril-holes did he have again?"

"Wait, what exactly do you think beady means? Small round and shiny? No? You meant little? Well then why the hell din't you just say that he had LITTLE eyes? Goddam as if drawing the guy wasn't hard enough, I'm stuck dicking around with your f'd up vocabulary."

Well, whatever, I'm still waiting to a see a job description that fits my exact skillset as a Professional Brass Button Fiddler and Assistant Moustache Operator Second Class in the Department of Mysterious Scribblings.

Yah, I assist in the piloting of those Top Secret Musical Steam Powered Antisasquatch Submarines you've probably heard about in the last couple hundred years.

Yah, in the War with the Sasquatches.

Yah, yah, I'm the guy with the cool napoleon hat with the huge feather.

No, I don't "look through the periscope," that's a different guy.

No, I don't do the thing where I repeat orders to people either.

No, actually its rather difficult to fire torpedoes at Sasquatches, they're capable of semibrachiation, you know.

Yah, no, my expertise is actually in the field of Subaquatic Moustache Sciences, but we already had one of those on board, so I spend most of my time playing in the Steamphony Happy Bubbles Motivational Orchestra, just waiting for him to die on an away mission so I can get promoted.

Well, its definitely the least likely place to become the victim of a savage Sasquatch attack, so it has that going for it.

And the carpeting and everything is really nice and soft and fancy and lacey and stuff.

We got tons of jewels and treasure too, I'm kinda used to drinking coffee out of a trophy covered in rubies, I don't think I can even remember how to drink out of a regular cup, what are those made out of, stone or... er wait, no, glass, the cups you drink out of are made of glass, right?

Haha glass omg that's even what you call 'em, "glasses," haha, 'cause they're made out of "glass."

Haha its weird that you only do that with glasses, y'know?

Well, you landlubbers don't call things "stones" just 'cause they're made from stone, or "cardboards" 'cause they were made out of cardboard, or anything else, like that, really.

Yah, see, that's kinda weird.

Plus you used the word for spectacles, too, which makes it even weirder, 'cause like, what's the point in specifying that particular detail, I mean, what else could spectacle lenses be made from, y'know?


Yah, see, and you call me the weird one.

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