Monday, May 26, 2008

You'll Be Laughing Three Days From Now

Ah, I had a feeling that Dundee had Mad Scientist Disease, which is why he was being so quiet.

Which is weird, 'cause Dundee is the one guy that my Amazing Psychic Powers totally don't work on, even though he does seem to think that my Amazing Psychic Powers do work on him, 'cause things get all awkward and he seems to get a little angry with me whenever I guess something wrong, as if I was guessing wrong on purpose when I shoulda just used my Amazing Psychic Powers to read his mind ahaha.

But that is why I like him, y'know, 'cause he's always surprising me, this Parallel Universe gets pretty goddam boring when you know what everybody is gonna say three days ahead of time.

Well, no, actually, its still funny, the things people are gonna say three days from now are still funny, its just funny three days ahead of when it should be funny, which is why I'm always laughing to myself, seemingly at random.

But then when the day finally comes around that you actually say what I knew you were gonna say three days ago, it isn't as funny anymore, y'know, for me.

Plus most of my attention is spent wandering around three days ahead of me, looking fer new shit that'll keep me cheerful, so I don't have a lot of concentration left over in the boring-ass totally-played-out present to pretend to laugh at all the tired-ass jokes I heard you tell me three days ago just to make you feel better or whatever heh.

And sometimes I even steal your jokes from three days in the future and use 'em on you, so you think I thought of 'em.

Just because its funny to see what kind of face you'll make at your own joke ahaha.

But I don't always do that on purpose, I mean, its kinda hard to tell whether you thought of 'em, or whether I thought of 'em by just imagining what you'd say three days from now.

Well, whatever, you'd know what I was saying if you were Amazingly Psychic heh.

Plus there's that whole thing where the only reason that you might have even thought of the joke is 'cause I gave you some sort of hint about it three days ahead of time.

And there's that whole deal where you think you are stealing a joke from me when you use it on somebody else, but actually you are just stealing your own joke back from me and saying it for the first time without Psychic Assistance, which is what I saw you doing, three days ago, which allowed me to steal your joke from you while you thought you were stealing the joke from me and telling it to somebody else and feeling a little guilty about taking credit for it.

And then I gotta feel a little guilty about the way my Amazing Psychic Powers are constantly adding Guilt to the Universe ahaha.

Anyways, I'm pretty good at reading minds, but with Dundee, I can only read about five minutes into the future, insteada three days.

And that's on a good day.

He's totally unpredictable as far as reactions and all that stuff goes, too.

And the clock is counting off five minutes from the last time I heard him said anything, and since it takes me at least five minutes to read the shit he said, I'm already in the red as far as Time Travel goes heh.

And the Regular Human Knowledge and Experience I could draw on, insteada using my Amazing Psychic Powers, is like, super old, from before he signed an NDA to start working on what would eventually become SWG, 'cause he turned all half-smarmy and fake and quit being prolific after that ahaha.

Its the same thing with Sundry Chicken, actually, but that's even worse, 'cause Sundry seems to be able to detect whenever I'm starting to read his mind and then he automatically switches directions every time I do it.

Which will be great when we have to fight against the Mind Reading Robots in the Mind Reading Robot Apocalypse.

Y'know, three days from now.


Sundry Chicken said...

Maybe the robots were here, looking, observing and watching for hoomans with high ESP factors. Then like six days ago they up and left. Leastaways they left me sitting here with a draining power-cell after mumbling over and over about shai-hulud and how the emporers breeding program really wasn't a joke and those that danced through time without casting light or shadow were all too real. Though that leader of theirs, think his name was Marvin seemed pretty resigned to failure after I flashed godel's face and signed i.n.c.o.m.p.l.e.t.e.n.e.s.s..t.h.e.o.r.e.o.m at him.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

I just been keeping the robots totally confused by reading somebody else's mind, y'know, in order to psychically impersonate that person, until I'm sure they're done checking me out.