The Moon is the vengeful spirit of the Earth's little sister, killed and stripped of all her belongings shortly after she was born in an act of jealous aggression by a young and savage Earth who didn't want to share the motherly attention of her Sun with her new sibling.
And so the ghost of the Moon haunts the Earth, following her everywhere she goes, watching her with a cold and hateful white eye.
And the Moon is jealous that the Earth is all green and blue and warm and alive, jealous that the Earth stole all those pretty things from her, the Earth could've shared all those pretty things with her little sister, but she didn't, did she, no, she didn't, she murdered her little sister and kept all those pretty green and blue and warm and living things for herself, that's what she did.
And the Moon is jealous of the way that the Sun loves the Earth more than it loves the Moon, and so the Moon hates the Sun, and so she watches the Sun, sometimes, from afar, but she is afraid of the Sun, like all the cold and dead and lonesome things that wander in the night.
And the Moon hates us, and she would kill each and every one of us if she could, she would kill all of the Earth's Toys, she would kill the Earth herself, if she could, just to make the Earth know what it feels like to be a cold and dead and ugly and unloved and angry thing.
And no matter where we go, even at the bottom of the ocean, the Moon can't keep her hands off us, the Moon will always find us, the Moon can always feel us, even through our spacesuits, her ghastly gravity penetrates everything, and drives us mad.
And the Moon's hatred for all living things will gently pull on our hair, and our clothes, and the air that we breathe, and the water we drink, because she wants to caress and lure us all to her dead and lifeless white corpse, so she can murder us and make us know how it feels to be a cold and dead and ugly and unloved and angry thing.
And some of us used to belong to her, some of us really are made from the very flesh of her body that the Earth stole from her all those years ago, and she especially wants to find those people, I feel sorry for those people, those poor people who are rightfully hers, who knows what sort of terrible and unimaginable fate she has in store for those poor unlucky souls.
There is no way to escape from the Moon's hateful attention.
Unless you are a Necrophysicist who can make a deal with a Black Hole.
But you know how those sorta deals have a way of getting out of hand and all that.
Plus that can get really expensive.
But I do know a guy, who does good work for reasonable prices, I could probably even get you a deal, if you decide that you want to get that taken care of, just for the peace of mind and stuff.