Sunday, May 18, 2008

Nailgun Monkey Online Fan Fiction

I tried to do a Madlib kinda thingie that made fun of the standard roleplaying background story with images from google for everything.

But it was just way too cheesy and easy to do, even for me, y'know, all those "...if it wasn't for a kind-hearted sadomasochistic robot belonging to a tribe of wandering agoraphobics who took pity on me..." jokes, that kinda crap just gives me the creeps after while, its too logical to be funny or something, its like, any old comedy robot could do that shit, why am I getting stuck messing with this stuff?

Even when I did trick stuff like "...who instructed me in the ancient art of ancient arts..." which is a tiny bit funnier than "...the ancient art of postmodern art..." or the totally random "...ancient art of height adjustable suspension installation and maintenance..."it just wasn't funny to me.

Dude, Madlibs suck, I think.

Seriously, I'm pretty sure its not me that sucks, its the Madlibs, its just like, a stupid kinda joke on a structural level or something, you gotta be a real dummass not to see those coming from a mile away.

Plus I was kinda shocked to find all the good stuff like "sadomasochistic robots" is still too advanced in this timeline for there to be any good google pictures for it, y'know, like, pictures that actually make it funnier, and not just like, not funnier, or whatever, 'cause its just a picture of a plain ole robot, and not a funny picture of a sadomasochistic robot, 'cause they don't even have non-funny pictures of sadomasochistic robots.

Y'know, yet.

The picture has to make it funnier or there's no sense in making people click and waste bandwidth on the damn thing, y'know?

Meanwhile its almost impossible to find a variation of "bitchkiller" that isn't taken as some kinda username for something already on google (sorry Bitchkiller, no offense, man, I mean, I wish I woulda beat you to that one, that's a good one ahaha).

Dude somebody even has "bitchsniper."

That's not a good one, though, that's the kinda thing you end up with when all the good "bitchmaster" ones are already taken.

There's no "bitchstranglers" yet but jeesh man that's even worse than "bitchsniper," y'know, when you gotta go that far for a gag its like, starting to not be so funny anymore, you might as well switch to an entirely different framework like Donkey Dicks or something heh.

I thought Donkey Dick Armstrong might be a good name for my Nailgun Monkey but there was actually a guy named Dick Armstrong.

Who was a famous radiologist or something with a Memorial which really started to make it not so funny to have a Nailgun Monkey named Donkey Dick Armstrong anymore, y'know?

I mean, if the guy was still alive so he could fight back and he wasn't a Father of Science or something I would totally be okay with it y'know?

But I might have to go and put flowers on the guy's grave or something someday for the way his contribution to science saved the life of somebody I know or something and I don't want that Donkey Dick Armstrong Nailgun Monkey shit hanging over my head and making his ghost follow me around.

'Cause even if he mighta been a guy that had a great sense of humor while he was alive he prolly woulda been pretty fucking sick of the Dick Armstrong jokes already heh.

But even if there wasn't a guy named Dick Armstrong somebody quicker than me like that Bitchkiller guy woulda grabbed that one up, 'cause goddammit that's a good one ahaha.

But I did find this picture I really liked for "...and I would have died of a massive drama overdose if it wasn't for..." so I'm gonna post that.

I know its bad internet etiquette to do pictures like that but you gotta sorta do it that way to do a google madlib thingie right, y'know?

Well, whatever man, I'm not gonna waste no more of my time talking about it, it ain't funny, I'm sure the world will get over it in the Grand Scheme of Things eventually ahaha.


Bonedead said...

Dick Trickle ftw!

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

You ever think about how guys named Dick in real life are always trying to get everybody to use Cock insteada Dick?

They're all like, dude, Cock is better than Dick.

Y'know, 'cause guys named Dick can't say shit like "don't be a Dick."

But "don't be a Cock" just makes you wonder why Dick didn't just say "don't be a Dick" instead, its like, all wrong and awkward and everybody sees right through it and then we all get self-conscious and have those tender made-for-tv moments where we think about what a hard life Dick must've had, for like, two seconds and stuff, before we realize "dick's problems" are a comedy goldmine that you could mine in your sleep.

"Don't get all soft on me now, Dick."

And if Dick does talk about his dick on accident, its like, a Dick dick, and that's sorta confusing and distracting too.

Dicks probably try to avoid all references to dick, now that I think about it.

That must be... uh... hard for them.