Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Pictures of the Dev Team

If I see a picture of a Dev Team, and they're all like, sad and stuff, then I think, "gawd, these losers wouldn't know what fun was if it came up and bit their asses off."

I don't wanna see no pictures that makes me feel pity for anybody, that doesn't make me wanna sign up to be entertained by them heh.

And I definitely don't wanna see no pictures of a bunch of nerds pretending to be normal people, that's like looking at a shaved monkey or something ahaha.

And if I see a picture of a Dev Team, and they're all like, super cheerful "looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays" and shit, then I think,"gawd, these losers wouldn't know what fun was if it came up and bit their asses off and and spit their asses back into their faces."

"They look like they're scared to death."

"They look like they're all on Advil Cold&Sinus."

"Look, that one over there has got the sweats."

"Dude I think this one is out-of-focus because she's vibrating."

"Dude, these are the kinda people that use those smiley-face emoticon thingies."

And if I see a picture of a Dev Team, and they're all like, super serious, then I think, "gawd these losers look like somebody already bit their asses off."

"Or somebody that likes to bite people's asses off."

"...'cause they think they're vampires."

And if I see a picture of a Dev Team, and they're all like, a bunch of midgets dressed up as gnomes smoking cigarettes, with little gnome hats and curly-toed shoes, with one big "regular sized" fat guy in the middle, in his own little gnome costume that doesn't fit, then I think, "ah, now here's a bunch of people that really know how to party."

Hahaha I'm just kidding about that last one, I just wanted to see if you would actually do that.

No wait, actually I'm not kidding about that midget thing.

Cannibal midgets smoking cigarettes around a big cauldron with bikini babes and bits of carrots and shit floating in it would be even better, but cigarette smoking gnomes with a Fat Guy Mutant "Baby Huey Junior" Gnome in the middle are easier for handlers to deal with if you gotta do it Live Action.

A picture of a bunch of super serious Amish-looking folks with pitchforks and shit would be good too.

Or something like this.

Or a bunch of dudes dressed up like Killer Bees.

With this guy as a lead dev.

See, that's the kinda thing that an Underground Comics Version of a Game Dev Team would do.

And just because you didn't do the Hairband Rockstar Band Photo thing where you got one guy laying on the ground in front of the rest of 'em with their arms around each other don't mean you did it any good, y'know?

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