Laughter Statistics

The male vs. female statistics on laughter in this thing is pretty goddam funny.

And the comments at the bottom are worth a look, stuff about women being more sensitive to emotional cues and the like is all a lot more fascinating than the shit in the actual article heh.

But the "science of laughter" stuff that led me to that thing gives me the frickin' creeps, its like a scientist tells a joke that he scientifically measured and rated for "amusement value," nobody laughs, and then they try to reason out why they aren't funny by blaming the audience for being a bunch of pathetic ass-kissing primates and shit ahaha.

Jokes are like the lamest form of comedy, seriously.

And comedy isn't exactly related to laughter.

I can't think of a joke that could drive me toward a purely physical state of laughter more than that vibe I get when a baby smiles at me.

I guess you could describe that as a mutual display of benevolence or non-hostility or something but that's really not what it is, happy kid's just have that innocent sunshine vibe you can catch like a psychic disease only when they know you aren't a threat to them.

There's also the "hiding in the bushes" nervous laugh, that's pretty damn strong and physical, y'know, like when you and yer buddy don't wanna get caught, so you don't want to laugh, but you can't help it, 'cause the more you try to keep it back, the worse it gets, and then one of you starts doing the Bill Paxton, "oh shit we're in some pretty shit now, man" and you just blow it.

That one is definitely not some kinda social thing, and its hardly a good surival mechanism either, since its gonna get yer ass caught, its just some sorta of overwhelming emotional pressure release system or something.

I think I've seen dogs that were really freaked and stressed-out and scared laughing like that, y'know, so its some sorta limbic-system mammal thingie, I guess.

And then there's all the Cerebral sorts of laughs, those are usually the weakest forces of laughter, and that's what Comedy is.

Comedy can be pretty great, like that time I yelled about how Women Aren't Funny, and then these scientists go ahead and try to prove it.

That's frickin' comedy.

Like, dude, I don't need scientific proof to have the balls to say that shit ahaha.

And I don't see how this application of the scientific method to laughter is gonna help anybody get to fly a spaceplane and shoot killer robots with lasers or anything cool like that, either, so why don't you guys just stick to something you know about ahaha.

But women seriously aren't as funny as men, in general.

And its for good reason.

Young women can't be funny, 'cause they're not generally benevolent to everybody else, 'cause they're going to become mothers.

Mothers are funny to their babies, 'cause they're benevolent to their babies, but everybody else is suspect, even the fathers, sometimes.

When a momma is done raising her babies, then she's like a compressed comedy coil, a ton of potential comedic energy has been stored up in her comedy goldmine and its ready to be released on the public.

Aging mommas can be seriously freaking funny, self-deprecating hilariousness ensues, now that their need for all that competitive self-defense shit is out of the way, suddenly they're laughing about how big their asses are.

And that's also why Grammas are so goddam funny sometimes.

But Grampas can make being funny look so goddam easy and effortless, 'cause they've got a million years of uninterrupted experience, 'cause men are generally benevolent to each other all their lives, since we're all on the same goddam sucky guard duty all the time, regardless of any secondary pursuits that might be competitive, and we actually use what might seem like nasty stuff to outsiders on each other and ourselves (much like the Aging Mommas Boy My Ass Is Fat Jokes) to check for kinks and weaknesses in each other's psychological armor.

Benevolence is a requirement for comedy.

Not laughter, just comedy.

And even folks that might seem malevolent aren't really being malevolent if they're honestly trying to make you laugh and entertain you.

And if you don't know what I'm talking about this time, then you prolly ain't benevolent enough.

But that's okay, 'cause at least I'm paying attention to you, right?

Well, I'm only paying attention to you because you're malevolent and I'm on guard duty heh.