Thursday, March 15, 2007

Evil Estates

Okay, how about a game where you are an evil high society guy in 1800s Europe or something classy like that, with stylish clothes and little Lord Fauntleroy frilly lace and a sexy moustache and everything.

Or a sexy momma-san, as beautiful as she is wicked and black-hearted, if yer a girl, this ain't really gender specific or anything, 'cause both evil men and women had interesting stuff to do and interesting ways to do it, even if they went about it differently.

But its not just some Chainsaw Massacre thing, where you go around stabbing hookers like Jack the Ripper or something.

Its gotta have class, y'know, so you can use class against people.

Like, you can chase your poor Nanny into the lake out behind the mansion, and make her drown, just by standing on the shore and declaring your passionate intentions for her, because she can't beat the Delicate Sensibilities saving throw, and she wouldn't be able to get another job as a Nanny with somebody else if she got Disgraced in your employ.

You'd probably earn an Evil Title like they had in UO for that heh.

The Depicable Lord Fauntleroy, Slayer of Nannies.

Maybe you'd even get a Haunted Lake out of the deal for your estate, as a reward.

And you can make people faint and stuff, the same way, just by uttering something incorrigible, y'know, fail the Delicate Sensibilities saving throw and down they go.

Everybody's social status and reputation would matter, but not in some simplistic way, because sometimes having a dispicable reputation with the right people might be good for you, and there's a lot of things a powerful and evil person can get away with that the poor wholesome folk can't, stuff that is utterly horrible and horrid but it just doesn't count for some reason, 'cause the world is designed to be unfair.

Now that would be a game!

Ah, you still don't believe those girly romance novels turned Big Screen Chick Flicks are onto something.

Well, let's take it step by step.

As a villain, you'd marry as well as you could, in order to increase your family fortune and social status (which would, in turn, increase your economic viability even more), 'cause that's what all those girly romance things are all about, cold-hearted economic villainy.

You might even be sneaky enough to marry a poor cousin of a rich person, knowing full well that the rest of her (or his) family might meet with some sort of strangely fortuitous and yet certainly accidental disaster in the future, and then you'd inherit everything.

And then you'd gamble away all that wealth on all sorts of evil delights like a ripe bastard, and you'd continue to make your little evil social status climbing deals, marrying off your sons and everything, until eventually you became a big enough target that the other players would start going after you, by marrying your daughters, or creating bastard pregnancy scandals in your household WITHOUT marrying 'em and stuff heh.

So your estate could take social and economic damage, just like your character could.

And eventually you'd die, from poison or a duel or poverty or some disease or childbirth or a public hanging (if you actually got caught for something), and some sneaky little peasant son-a-bitch who married one of your poor cousins would inherit your whole frickin' fortune!

Dude, c'mon!

That is some kickass pvp virtual world action!

I didn't even get into Highwaymen robbing stagecoaches and kidnapping daughters and stuff!

And its like, romantic, for the ladies! *wink*

Actually I think a high powered beautiful and evil lady would be able to do a lot more damage than some puny little evil guy, and she'd be able to get away with it, too, just by pretending to faint at the right time.

Y'know, "uh oh, I'm about to get caught, time to pretend I have a high Delicate Sensibilities score by mashing my Feign Faint key like crazy!"

Its so naughty and sensual and forbidden, its like Sinfully Delicous Chocolate Online, its a frickin' goldmine.

Pretty much the exact opposite of an Eastern Philosophy game, too heh.

Just make sure they don't sign any of our names on the papers or anything, y'know, for when the cops come and shit.


Dirk said...

I admit, I didn't read that whole post cause it's really long and I have to go to costco before it gets super busy.

The early part of the post though made me think of the mean guy in Rob Roy that Liam Neeson fought at the end.

Duke of Argyll: So, Mr. Cunningham, what are these principle sins that distress your mother? Dice? Drink? Or are you a buggerer of boys?

Archibald Cunningham: It is years, Your Grace, since I buggered a boy... And in my own defense, I must add, I thought him a girl at the moment of entry.

Duke of Argyll: [laughs] Do you hear that, Will? Young Cunningham here was unable to tell arse from quim. What say you to that?

Will Guthrie: I've heard that many Englishmen have that same difficulty.


Archie, that's the guy I was thinking of.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Right on man that was actually one of the guys I was thinking about when I wrote it heh.