Not Another Giant Squid

Ugh I'm so freakin' sick of Giant Squids.

Or sure, they seem really cool at first, y'know, the way their suction cups latch onto people and tear their skin and drag 'em screaming down the beach, the way they hold you underwater 'til ya drown, or the way they can pick a guy up off a boat and yank him high into the air and then squish 'im in half with their tentacle, catching the meat globs in their mouth, I mean, what the hell could beat that, right?

But that's all they do.

Oh yah, right, they do spit ink every once in a while, and they do do that comedy relief thingie where the two tentacles fight over a guy and tear him apart, but then that's really it, that's all they do.

Yah, that's it.

Its just that same freakin' stuff over and over again, dragging some guy down the beach, drowning somebody, picking a guy way up high in the air and squishin' 'im in half and catching the meat globs in their mouths, spitting ink, and the dueling tentacles laffer.

Over and over and over and over again.

And everywhere we go, it seems like we're always stuck fighting one Giant Squid after another.

Its like that's all there freakin' is, man.

There's a million of 'em!

I'm just so sick of the damn things, there's just gotta be more to it than this.

I dunno, I think mebbe its the spit I really hate, mebbe they wouldn't be so bad if it weren't fer all the freakin' spit.

Yah, and watchin' folks get their skin torn off and dragged through the sand and drowned and gettin' squished in half and eaten really starts to suck after a while.

And oh man, that dueling tentacle comedy thingie sucks some serious freakin' ass, too.

Man, I dunno why I ever took this job.