Thursday, March 15, 2007

Burning Pirates of the Sea

The first few minutes of this thing is really funny.

Well, I guess how funny it is depends on who you are, exactly, but it stung me right in my tiny little heart a few times heh.

Here's a bunch more of that kinda stuff.

Well, not that kinda stuff, but its about the same game, Pirates of the Burning Purple Hair or whatever.

I watched a few of 'em and I didn't see any pirates getting their faces blown off by cannonballs so I got kinda bored, watching those beautiful ships sail around in the beautiful sea is so peaceful it makes me sleepy, when they fire their cannons its like they're blowing beautiful smoke rings just for me.

I hope their avatar combat system is really gory and awesome so I can make other players have peg-legs and hooks for hands and eye-patches and stuff.

"Remember me? I'm the guy that made it so that no woman can dance with you without crying!"


W.Churchill said...

We better be able to pillage. To join the 'good guys' you might have to sign up for Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash. Well two out of three aint so bad. Meh it'll be 'G' rated for sure. Not much blood, cant do all the fun pirate stuff like they did back in the olden days.

There wont be any slave trading and nasty shit like that, which is fine with me. Man the more I strat thinking about, most pirates were same mean bastards

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Well at least I'll be able to feed players to the sharks one limb at a time while they watch or something, right?

Hmm man I dunno about this.

Why do they always do stuff like this where they sorta try to glorify things they actually hate?

Its like a Pirate Game for people who Hate Violence and Pirates.

I'm sure there'll even be a swear filter and you'll be reported for CURSING heh.

"No talking like a sailor!"


W.Churchill said...

pulling gold teeth out of a dead guys mouth would be neat.

The swear filter, hmm might be able to get around that by using really old insults like "Thou clouted ill-nurtured hedge-pig" or perhaps "Thou fobbing knotty-pated flirt-gill" or telling people to shiver yer timber and stuff.

Still I think it'll be worth trying maybe but only if friends buy it first then talk me into playin it. :)

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

I dunno man, I just can't get the image of a bunch of pirate ships all trying to ninjaloot the same corpse outta my head.

My stepdad is a huge sailing guy (he lived on his sailboat in the carribean for seven years) but as sleepy looking as this game looks to me, those Steve Zissou Life Aquatic guys would think this is little-kid-in-the-bathtub stuff 'cause it ain't a realistic sailing simulation (snore *head hits desk*) and to THOSE guys a pirate is basically the same thing as a guy who hijacks a plane so they really ain't into THAT aspect of it either heh.

I'm thinking they shoulda just made You Sank My Battleship Online complete with the Completely Antisocial Torpedoes Away Submarine Expansion Pack.

Ping! ...Ping! ...Ping!

Now THAT would actually be kinda fun.

Dirk said...

So, everybody has their own ship? That's no fun. Can't I be the scurvy first mate? Or the cabin boy? Or Mr. Prostitute?

I agree that they seem to be confused as to who is going to play this game. Are they expecting all the people that watched that Disney pirate movie to sign on?

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

I was thinking the same thing as you, that'd it be more fun to be ON somebody's ship, and not BE a ship, but then I thought "ugh, it'd be a pain in the ass to get twenty people together to do that."

But now I'm thinking that you can still have automated NPCs do most of the little stuff or whatever so you ain't stuck like that.

It'd be kinda cool to be able to take their place and actually learn how to do all the jobs on some old-fashioned pirate ship though, y'know?

Like swab-the-decks and sail-control mini-games or whatever the hell that stuff is, I dunno, I ain't no spanish galleon expert or anything, I have that "my parents like that shit so I don't" thing going against me.

They DID say that there was gonna be a merchant part of the game and boat-building and stuff, so its got some depth and it ain't just gonna be BARELY about pirates, I think you can also be a pirate hunter and work for the royal navies.

Seems like its a historical war-game with resource stuff ala EVE Online, y'know, to be played kinda zoomed-out, and not really zoomed-in on what I'd think were the more interesting details.

But that's just how I am, the Real Life Dwarf always loved wargames fulla long-term strategy and junk that puts me to sleep 'cause boring me to death with a twenty hour game of icon management and resource monopoly is the only way he could ever be sure to beat me heh.

I was glad when folks invented the zerg 'cause that meant I could get back to murdering people with crowbars in Half Life sooner rather than later.

Dirk said...