Thursday, March 1, 2007

Grassroots Matrix Revival Reloaded

Yah, I think I'm gonna try the Matrix Online, I just can't resist the idea of roleplaying gothy-male-JCPenny's-underpants-model-computer-hackers wrassling each other in leather chaps.

"Dude! We are totally interlocked, man!"

I tried to figure out how to play the game with their latest Combat Revision (oh yes!) by looking at their forums, but I can't understand a damn thing they're saying, seems a bit too complicated for the professional male fashion model that I'm currently getting into character for.

"So this is just like Twister, right?"

"Where is the love button?"

I did find this picture and this thread about the calculations necessary for in-game pregnancy that I'm confident will sell even the most skeptical and jaded of you folks on the unplundered depth of this game.

"Don't look at me, I'm roleplaying that I had a vasectomy."


W.Churchill said...

"Don't look at me, I'm roleplaying that I had a vasectomy."

LMFAO! goddamn man I spit tea half way across the room! Is it cool if I print that on a t-shirt? Cafe Press here I come!

are u ficking kidding me??? pregnancy role play, holy shit the worlds gonna blow up! oh, I liked the picture of the guy sitting on the john suffering from what looks to be a very painful STD. That or he just relized what a suck ass game Matrix is and he's gone and set himself on fire like those monks did back in nam.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Well if I admitted I was kidding then it wouldn't be as funny, y'know.

And don't get all like John Goodman in the Big Lebowski on me, man ahaha.

"Wtf is all this shit about Nam?"

I think that screenshot would make a better t-shirt, with the words "Exit the Matrix" on it or something.

"Exit the Matrix" is one of them things can be interpreted so many different ways, and they're all correct ahaha.

"Its the spicy hot burrito of online gaming!"

Anyways, if I could get Ex-B or somebody to play it, I probably would, I mean, its just got SO much Dancing Cowboy Strikeforce bust-an-intestine and call-an-ambulance comedy potential.

But Ex-b is "busy with school" (LOSER), y'know. *rolls eyes*

And that other thing I wrote about the Matrix was pretty much exactly what I said to Critter when I tried to get him to try it with me, y'know, 'cause he's an ancient MMO guy and he can appreciate the Ed Wood stuff heh.

So I guess I'm half kidding.

Its beats the hell out of playing a game where everybody expects me to take totally crazy elf shit seriously ahaha.

Or one of those ones where everybody is always over-compensating, trying to convince themselves about how much better their community is than wow all the time.

Can't a game just admit its filled with a bunch of freaks and losers and tards, and try to show some PRIDE for once like the guys in Revenge of the Nerds or something?

Well that's what the Matrix Online could be, y'know, The Revenge of the Nerds of Online Gaming, all they need is some congo line shit on utube with the Safety Dance playing in the background.

C'mon, yer feeling it, I can tell yer feeling it ahaha.

I know my shitty website scratchpad thingie would be supplied with some funny ass shit if I actually DID start playing it though ahaha.

And its only like twenty bucks or something to download and play for a month.

Still, I ain't gonna play anything by myself, that just ain't gonna happen.

Yah, I'd say I'm half kidding, if you could show me a game that was gauranteed to provide even more sustained comedy throughput than the Matrix Online I'd be all for it, but I don't see how that's possible, anything worse than the Matrix enters that Psycho Hello Kitty world where shit is funny for five seconds and then takes an immediate turn toward scary and sickening ahaha.

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