Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Four Seasons of Dreaming

Okay, I guess I can't sleep.

But when I could sleep, I realized that I had different kinds of dreams depending on how I slept.

Like, if I sleep laying on my back, staring at the ceiling, I have really visual dreams, y'know, like scenery and places I been to that were beautiful, dreams with no talking and no real sense to them, just tons of pretty visual stuff.

And that makes sense in a way, 'cause the back of your head is where all your visual brain-gear is, that's why you can go blind if somebody cracks you in the back of the head with a baseball bat, and if you are laying on your back, that's the part of your brain that's soaking in most of your brain juices.

Now, if I sleep with my face down, I have no dreams at all, its just the black sleep of death.

I dunno why that is, that's the spooky frontal lobe bits that'd be getting all the brain juices, but even though I don't dream when I sleep face down, I do have a lot of those freaky half-asleep things, like where you feel like you are stumbling suddenly, or you get that electrical brainstorm-surge thingie that starts at the base of your skull, they got some weird "hypno-something" name for those things but its only half-assed science really so far, so fergitaboutit.

If I sleep on my right side, with the right side of my face down on the pillow, I have realistic mathematical and analytical dreams full of annoying talking and boring stuff, like where you win the lottery, but you never get to have any fun because they make you talk to lawyers about all the rules and taxes involved until you wake up or something.

I really hate those.

And if I sleep on my left side, with the left side of my face down on the pillow, I have really crazy imaginative dreams that are totally original and awesome and fun and full of special effects and actually have meaning and even wisdom sometimes.

So now I usually sleep on my left side, 'cause those are the funnest, y'know.

But I wonder if its slowly making me crazy, 'cause those dreams really are pretty crazy.

And I have to wonder, am I depriving the boring Rules Lawyer right side of my brain of oxygen or something by favoring the left side like that?

So I'm becoming less and less mathematical and analytical and interested in that sorta crap?

Is it that my head is half full of liquid and only the part that remains submerged is getting the nutritional juices needed to run dreams and process whatever they gotta process while I'm sleeping or something?

Like, mebbe I need to drink more water and stuff to fill my braincase up the rest of the way so the whole thing is submerged and not just half of it?

But then what if it breaks something and the left side of my brain don't do the trick no more and I turn boring like everybody else?

That would suck, man.

Yah, I guess I'd rather just take the risk and run with the Wild Left Side until I whistle away all crazy into to the dirt.

Plus I sorta hate having to drink water anyways, it makes me make the "ugh now I have to make myself drink water" stinky-face, y'know.

Well, whatever, I was thinking about telling you about these sleeping tricks 'cause mebbe you could try using 'em yourself if you're bored or you're a little kid having freaky dreams or something, but now I'm not so sure that they're safe, you might get addicted to the Left Side too and we don't really need any more crazy people like me.

Heck man we don't even need the one we already got heh.

Or you might get addicted to the Right Side and become a Lawyer or something and shit man that'd be even worse ahaha.

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