Saturday, December 22, 2007

Without Much Further Ado About Nothing

The votes are in for the Annual Best Taco In Antarctica Award!

Second Place was Raph, for protesting his involvement in the Antarctican Taco Contest as if he might have won if he had indeed tried to make a Taco, that was awesome.

Silly Raph, you don't try to make a Taco, Tacos just happens.

And this is a personality contest anyway, you can't be disqualified from a personality contest held by some random guy that thinks his momma is paying you to entertain him or something even if you are some no-personality robot that is just copying other people's personalities.

'Cause even then, we can judge the robot's personality on what he chooses to copy, y'know?

I mean, there really is some argument there that that is all that there is to the regular old human personality anyway, y'know, everything is derivative, and there's a lot of people that just go around repeating shit they heard on the radio and whatever.

Well I know I do that heh.

And there really is no such thing as a random guy, everybody's got an agenda, even guys like me that just go around trying to cheer up our buddies are actually voting for the guy that I think will give me the most laughs and make me the most smartest guy EVAR for my vote or something, right?

Like, say, if I was one of these wannabe-game-dev-guys for a certain kinda game with my own MMO News Site and everything, and you courted the people in my crowd for followers, but then suddenly you weren't making that kinda game anymore, or you were making one of those kinda games, but it doesn't seem like its gonna come out for a while compared to some other guy, then you ain't gonna get my vote, I'm gonna stick my vote where its gonna give me the best my-kinda-bang for my-kinda-buck heh.

You think you're the only guy where people have totally messed up expectations of you?


"We're having a really hard time making you fit into one of our stereotypes, so we're gonna have to classify you as Weird."

"Yah well mebbe your brain just isn't big enough to wrap itself around everybody else's brains like that and still have something left over to think with. I know mine sure ain't."

Well, whatever, I love Raph and I think the world would be a much crappier place without him, don't get me wrong.

He's just not perfect or anything, 'cause there ain't no such animal, especially in the more exotic animal kingdoms heh.

As for me, I'm giving myself the Most Likely to Marry My Cousin Award.

'Cause I just can't trust you guys to treat her right after what happened last time heh.

And that guy from the Wallstreet Journal can suck my ass, what a moldy old liberal arts major school marm dope, I mean, my purpose is to cheer up my buddies and give 'em some lopsided encouragement without seeming like I'm just being smarmy and gladhanding so it gets past their I-Hate-Compliments What-The-Hell-Are-You-Trying-to-Sell-Me Psychological Defense Systems that the dude who runs the Wall Street Journal is in some small part responsible for heh.

Is he an expert on writing, or a expert on marketing and financial shit?

And the paper universe of the liberal arts majors are in the goddam Victorian Times as far as technology news and the experiences internet people have that they wanna blabber about.

And y'know, I'm sure the world of investing is the exact same way, I'm sure there's killer shark guys out there that read the Wall Street Journal and go "oh man this is so Last Friday, thanks for letting me know what all the newbs are gonna do!" ahaha.

And don't even try to bring the real journalists into it, as if the Wall Street Journal had anything in the goddam WORLD to do with any of the truly heroic journalist guys.

You can't make claims like that just because you share the same writing materials as a kid trying not to get killed in a jeep in Africa or something, y'know, I might be crass and ignorant and disrespectful and pompous and self-important, but that's just crass and ignorant and disrespectful and pompous and self-important beyond belief, man, that's going so far that you are actually starting to commit crimes and damage shit that's worth a million times what your stupid ass self-serving organs would go for on the black market heh.

I'm pretty goddam irreverent, but there are some things that even I think oughta be revered.

And let's face it, the Wall Street Journal is more like a Myspace of Investing Shit where everybody has to kiss the ass of some guy before they can post anything, and then he turns around and needs to sell it to advertisers and the public.

Of course he ain't gonna like it when life finds a way to undermine his powerbase and escape from the Dinosaur Park and squirt out through all the cracks all over the place, that's his lifeblood and livelihood leaking out all over the floor right there, that loss of control can be terrifying for folks who make their living off of trying to keep things under control heh.

And I'm not saying he's a bad guy, I don't really have any idea whether he is or not, I mean, if I had to guess I'd say that he's prolly responsible for putting Christmas Dinners on the table of tons of hardworking Cratchets and paying for more than a couple Tiny Tim Operations, he's prolly not just looking out for himself.

Y'know, I don't wanna make it like I'm villainizing him, 'cause I'm not into that kinda simple shit.

But he oughta be smart enough to know that us genetically enchanced frogosaurs see that sorta shit he was saying as a sign of weakness, that's the smell of blood in the water baby ahaha.

"Ah, there is my lovely little straggler in the herd!"

Not that the Wall Street Journal doesn't have its place, y'know, it just definitely ain't that place heh.

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