ADD Theater

This thing doesn't make me feel old.

Doesn't make me feel anything except confident in my decision to hardly ever watch TV.

Even if yer just watching that shit for the hot chick there's plenty of hotter, smarter, funnier, and more naked chicks you could be watching heh.

Wanna know what really does make me feel old?

The way that all the little kids who hate G4 TV as much as I do (I love how they get all nostalgic about how great Old School G4 was ahaha) say that...

...Star Trek is boring.

Here's a little something for those kids.

This is why Ex-bouncer can't get me interested in kids that are from his generation and younger, you guys ain't got nuthin interesting, baby.

Won't be until my brother's kids get a little older that the Democracy of Cool will accept new members, y'know?

And even then, yer gonna have to vote against the combined weight of the Baby Boomers and Generation X, instead the way we had it, where we only had to wrestle with our parents and the sides were more even.

'Cause them Baby Boomers are living longer and shit now.

That's just how it is, with the population booms and stuff, y'know, there's the Baby Boom, Generation X, and then... some people that haven't got quite old enough to vote on what's cool yet heh.

Anybody who ain't in one of those big clumps is just the in-betweens, you guys ain't got enough votes in the Democracy of Cool Contests to be anything but a bunch of good-fer-nothing punkass kids ahaha.

Oh I'm just kidding.

Well, not about the Democracy of Cool thing, that's fer real, but how well you adapt to it doesn't have anything to do with yer age, I mean, fer fuck's sake, if you think Star Trek is boring, yer gonna have a really hard time being an archaeologist and shit ahaha.

Actually Star Trek is kinda boring, ya kinda got a point there, now that I think about it, but its only 'cause I seen 'em all already.

Still, you shouldn't talk bad about Star Trek out loud, man, that's just wrong.

Its wrong because its like against society.

Awww, don't take it bad, I know there's nine year old kids that're smarter than half the folks from Generation X, always seems like there's the same pitiful small handful of smart folks going all the way back to the ancient times and those are the only ones that really matter in the long run.

Back in my day, we didn't have ADD, you were just fucking stupid, and that was okay, heck, that was usually better than okay, 'cause at least the Forrest Gumps of the world will help you out when you need it, insteada using their super powerful brains to make all these absolutely brilliant excuses not to help you with that flat tire or whatever heh.

Ex-B is gonna be a strange mix of pissed and happy with me 'cause I picked on his generation (actually he ain't that young, that's just one of those long-running gags we do) but the chick in that spazz link is totally his type, man.

While back in my day *plucks banjo* we'd have to put yer ass down if you started acting like that ahaha.

"Ah think she's got the rabies."