Smile

There's only two things my grandparents would watch on TV.

Kungfu movies and Wrestling.

It was the best time to hang out with them, too, I think it was the only time they ever exercised their laughing muscles.

They were the kind of folks that got four hundred frowning muscles and only three smiling muscles.

I'm like that too, so is my mom, y'know, we have to put some conscious energy into looking cheerful or people think we're pissed off and stuff, I look angry when I relax, so if I'm spacing out people get worried, and then they're all like "what's wrong?" and I have to smile and make them feel comfortable its a pain in the ass man.

But its really just the way the rubber sits on my face y'know heh.

And I get tired of keeping that happy face up all the time.

But then again, just because I have that angry face thing going on, it doesn't make me able to see through other people's angry faces.

Like I never know if my mom is actually pissed or not, she has to talk for a while before I can get a feel for it.

Her face is totally detached from her emotional state when she talks to someone she considers an equal, it doesn't give away any tells, 'cause all that stuff is "shining somebody," its like patronizing and disrespectful.

She got real tired of me asking if she was pissed off all the time when I was a kid.

Just think of hanging out with Clint Eastwood and you'll know what I'm saying heh.

"Like, hey man, are you pissed off or something?"

"What? No. Haha man no I was just spacing out."

"Dude you always look like you are pissed off."

But I'm not complaining, y'know, 'cause looking like you are paying attention or deep in thought when you ain't can be handy sometimes too heh.