Saturday, April 21, 2007

Thank You For Smoking

I wonder exactly how much Big Tobacco paid Raph to have a race of Joe Camels put in to a game for children.

They even got Joe Camel Jedi Toys.

I wonder if he managed to collect something from the Coalition to Promote Furrie Lifestyles while he was at it, too, I mean, that's an easy two-fer-one slam dunk there, if you really know what yer doing, man.

And then there's that Hookah in the cantina, the "Decorative Shisha" that everybody gets for a newbie quest, that's gonna turn out to be "just tobacco" eventually, ain't it?

After the whole Joe Camel Star Wars Conspiracy Unravels, right?

Mmm-hmm, its like the submarines that are supposed to launch nukes every seven years after the world gets blown up the first time, its frickin' genius.

Yah, see, Big Tobacco has got a whole It's Just Tobacco Department, they're the same ones that brought you the "Indians Just Smoked Tobacco" and "Don't Worry, Longbottom Leaf is Just Tobacco, Too" Campaigns.

That whole Joe Camel Jedi Conspiracy is actually just a strawman to lure the media into melee range to maximize the efficiency of the real psychological explosives.

*takes suspicious looking envelope*

Man, do I ever need a smoke after all this conspiracy theorizing.


W.Churchill said...

yeah, now kids wanna grow up to be cowboys these days, thats why you dont see the Marlboro Man around any more.

Now, a jedi that smokes will get the kids excited. "Dude, you never need a cigarette lighter, just pull out your lightsaber!"

ohh time for my smoke break

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...


"What? Don't you look at me like that. Your crackhead smuggler boyfriend is always stealing my frickin' lighter."