Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Firewood For Sale

Guys from the midwest go to hollywood and LA and its all tropical and hot and smoggy 'cause of the mountains there so they get all uncomfortable and drunk and they write scripts that include thirty-two uses of the words Global Warming.

Meanwhile the people of their hometown that raised them are FREEZING THEIR GODDAM ASSES OFF, the middle of the country is turning into a GIANT FRICKING ICE CUBE.

I gotta go SCRAPE the ice off my car and drive through a blizzard in APRIL to go to the Big Global Warming Conference.

'Member how easter toys were always cheapass summer breeze shit, like balsa wood airplanes with rubberband-powered propellers and kites and those big styrofoam glider things from the 70s that break every time you throw them and end up being made mostly outta Duct Tape?

Well I gotta babysit my brother's kids later today and we're all gonna be looking at those while we huddle like penquins around the IGLOO listening to the wind do low whistles because even IT feels sorry for us.

Oh sure, they'll have the Duct Tape all ready-to-go for Uncle Angus to fix all their toys that they can't play with and break because its FREEZING OUTSIDE, and then we'll all have a good cry.

Somebody needs to drive around and heat things up some I guess!

Well it can't be you with your goddam electric car, now cannit?

Ahaha I'm just kidding, man you losers are so easy to send on guilt-trips and shit.

Any excuse to drink, right?

AHAHA aw dammmmn I did it again!

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