Thursday, April 12, 2007

Single White Gangsta

So I babysitted my brother's two older kids yesterday.

Which means I basically just sat in a chair while they interrogated me for eight hours straight and used me for a jungle-gym heh.

And they are hilariously polite.

They spend most of their communication energy repeating my name and asking me if its okay to ask me something, I have to give 'em an ack before they'll break out of that loop heh.

And of course, now I'm a little sick again, I got a fever and my eyes are hot and everything, somehow, in the three days since I last saw them, they managed to cultivate a brand new weaponized disease, just for me ahaha.

Anyways, they got this game they love, for the Playstation 2, I think, I dunno, that's that Lego Star Wars game.

Actually there's two of these games, one for the New Movies, and one for the Old Movies, I think.

And these games really are amazing, I dunno who made 'em but they really did an unbelievably awesome job of it.

And so of course, the kids are all over me for Star Wars information, 'cause besides being a Star Wars Kid with a Star Wars Lunchbox and Star Wars Christmas, I played SWG and the KotORs and Jedi Knights and X-wing Versus Tie Fighters and every other Star Wars computer game that was ever made, and I know all sorts of little stuff about Star Wars that I ain't even exactly conscious of.

I'm not as good as Buddy is, I mean, he can actually do all the voices perfectly as he recites dialogue from the movies and stuff, but I can answer questions about Astromech Programming and the Crystals Used In Lightsaber Construction and when to fold your wings and how to balance your shields in an X-wing, so that sorta makes up for it, I guess heh.

I always end up telling them about stuff from SWG, and how there's games we could play when they're older where we could all drive speederbikes together across Tatooine in a Big Jedi Motorcycle Gang, or build our own Millenium Falcon and soup it up like a hotrod and walk around inside of it and fly it together.

And then I tell them that they really need to learn how to read and write and do math really well before they can do stuff like program their own flat-headed R4 unit and install it in their own Jedi Starfighter, 'cause I'm all evil like that.

"Sure kid, you can make any kind of lightsaber you want, I always used a double bladed one like that kungfu-kicking Darth Maul guy, but that's just 'cause I'm lazy."


"What color was it, Uncle Angus?"


Part of me hopes they make a new game like SWG before the kids actually get old enough to play something like that (that game really is way-the-hell too complicated for a kid in first grade to play).

But part of me is afraid that if they do make a new one, they ain't gonna have some of the totally kickass stuff they had in SWG, like being able to walk around inside the Millenium Falcon and then fly it while yer buddies worked the guns (even though that was goddam impossible to actually do effectively compared to flying separate ships heh), and having your own astromech droid that somebody built that you had to load with programs and stuff.

And for whatever else it makes me think about, it makes me think about playing that game again, and how I miss spinning lightsabers and driving around in the Barbie Car with Ex-bouncer and flying spaceships around.

But then I think about all the boring "left-over" pre-WoW slog-fests in the laggy ground game, like the Planet of the Crystal Snakes With Bad Targetting Boxes, and the Geological Pace of the Vestigial Crafting Game That Was Still Required For Certain Things.

And the way I had to wear horrible-ass pink pope hats covered in rubies and stuff.

But then I think about how funny it would be to ask Dundee to play it with me and I just gotta go ahead and write this sentence ahaha.

So, uh, anybody besides Dundee wanna play it with me again?

C'mon Ex-B, c'mon Winst, I'm getting pretty bored of the Matrix, it'd need motorcycles and helicopter fights and katanas or something to measure up to the crap we could do in SWG.


Michael said...

Oh. That ... that was harsh.

And funny. :)

My wife just asked me "what's so funny?", and I just didn't have the words to explain.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Yah, uh, if something I wrote accidentally made you depressed for some reason, just listen to I'm Alright by Kenny Loggins, y'know, that Dancing Gopher Song from Caddyshack, and you should be good as new in no time heh.

RickR said...

I think Dundee's WANTED poster is still up outside Coronet starport.