There is nothing quite like being able to watch your own cognitive powers fart away happily into the darkness like a deflating balloon when you get sick.
When I start reading stuff I contrived and going "huh that's cool" I know I'm in trouble heh.
When you get the flu, its sorta like your head becomes a badly cooked dish of lasagna, yer noodles get all chewy and parts of it turn into heavy tire rubber on one side, bits of mozzarella become plastic woodchips with little bits of dirt and gristle embedded innit that used to be meat, yer ricotta gets all dried out and crumbly and tastes like styrofoam packing peanuts, and all the vegetable stuff is more like eating crayons and construction paper than onions and tomatos and spices.
And then when I smoke, everything starts to taste like pencils for some reason, I mean, if I really loved the way pencils taste, I'd be in frickin' pencil heaven right now.
See, this is exactly what happens when you have to hang out with kids too much, not even working downtown for three years in human-sized glass and aluminum hamster tubes crammed with moaning corpses and no air holes in the tupperware lid can help prepare you for all the designer diseases those damn kids cultivate, they're like roving military grade biological weapon platforms and shit.
Although I guess I shouldn't complain, 'cause at least I'm half immune to everything.
Yah, I only got half a fever and only one side of my hat-holder is completely congested and pulsing like an alien egg sac filled with twenty-five pounds of It Definitely Ain't Butter.
Yah, and somehow, the other side of my head is all fine and symptom-free, I mean, aside from the fact that for some totally unfair reason, it seems to be permanently attached to the absoshmiggenly funged-up mutant side of my head.
Guess I'm like the Three Legged Pig, y'know, too good to eat all at once.
Yah, and crying like a baby from only one eye, with tears running down just one of my cheeks ahaha ow shit.
Its funny how I was just thinking about writing something about people who have bosses that read the shit they write on the internet having to pretend to be sick in text format when they play hooky right before I suddenly became sick heh.
But now I'm too messed up to write anything good like that ahaha.
Well, no matter how bad things get, you can almost always take comfort in the fact that they ain't even begun to be as bad as they can be until Dennis Hopper shows up and tells you to bite down on a sock.