Monday, April 9, 2007

Marriage Counseling

I'm sorry to have to be the one to say this, but at least one of you little oinkers needs to get married right, for once.

Y'know, to somebody rich.

Yah, I dunno what is up with all these friends we got that keep marrying poor peasant folk over and over again and shit, I used to think some of 'em were all smart and that maybe there was some invisible inheritance angle or something that they were working in the background.

But apparently they are all just a bunch of hopelessly romantic crackhead hippies.

How are we supposed to buy all the kickass futuristic helicopters and assault motorcycles with lasers and superjumping jetrobot exoskeletons and shit we need if everybody keeps marrying sickly little amish people from Little House on the Prairie?

I know, like, seriously, right?


Well I can't be the one to do it, you dummass.

Yah, no, see, if I get married rich, then there'd be nobody left that could keep her happy and paying the bills afterwards ahaha.

Damn, what're you, new to this simple ass planet or something?

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